This week is Jesus's birthday week and I shall drink alcohol everyday as He, in his infinite wisdom, turned water into wine. I believe that He, in his Divine Wisdom, truly understood the benefits of getting roaring drunk and getting a terrible hangover.

Also, didn't the Lord himself valued truth and other virtues among all others, when in He proclaimed that Thou Shalt not Lie? And didn't the wise sages from China, the shamans from the wilds of America, the bomohs of Malaysia and the witch doctors of Africa, claim that a person inebriated speaks the truth?

(Disclaimer: The blog author intentionally left out certain classes of wise people due to his inability to name them, and his laziness to do a Google search. The blog author wishes to emphasise the fact that the abovementioned inability in no way reflects on his disrespect for the omitted wise classes of people.)

I hope that I convinced the heathens/pagans/atheists/agnostics/free-thinkers/secular humanists/Burn in hell'ers/whatever His followers call non-believers these days the truth serum that God, in his wisdom, gave to His creations.

So therefore, I shall list down the alcohol I consumed this week in His name.

Monday) 2 big glasses of skittles vodka
Tuesday) One can of beer
Wedneday) I bottle of Chardonnay

Halelujah guys!

Ok, as of today, I shall go on a diet!

Not those eat veggies and fruits only diet!

I SHALL EAT 1 1/2 of my usual proportions!

Normally I don't do advertisements on my blog but this is seriously an exception

http://kj-shine.blogspot.com/

Disclaimer: The author of this blog in no way knows the author of the abovementioned blog.

I HAVE TO DO THIS BECAUSE SHE SHARES MY INITIALS!

The head bobble or head wobble refers to a common gesture found in South Asian cultures, most notably in India. This form of nonverbal communication is sometimes referred to as "Indian head shake" or as travel journalist Stephan Wilkinson has described it, "a vague cock of the head." The motion usually consists of a side-to-side tilting of the head in arcs along the coronal plane.

The meaning of the bobble is myriad but is usually in response to another individual's request or comment. It usually signifies an acknowledgment of something or a sign of enjoying something immensely (usually accompanied with a wide eyed look). Other meanings it could have include:

"You're welcome," or "of course"
"Goodbye"
"I don't know" or a shrug. Usually accompanied with hands turned up and a shoulder shrug.
"Ok Ok"
"I'm giving you the answer I think you want to hear"
"I hear the words that are coming out of your mouth"
"I really want the answer to be yes..."
In Western countries, "Yes, definitely!" is communicated by nodding the head multiple times. In South Asia, it is communicated by a single strong head-wobble.

It has been said the origins of the head wobble come from watching snake charmers with cobras. Snake charmers play their music largely for dramatic effect, and it is in fact the movement of their head that mesmerizes the snake. When the cobra is not going to strike, it will sway its head from side to side. This body language signifies 'I am of no threat to you', and is a simple gesture to draw someone into your confidence, similar baring one's teeth in a smile.


NEH NEH NEH

I shall take a break from fabricating stories for my SIP report and start reporting on the truth as dictated by Eugene Yee Ming Han

Name: Kwek Kiat Jun
Birthdate: 31st July 1988 <---PRESENTS PLEASE THANKS
Current Status: Attached!
Eye Colour: Technically it's brown!
Hair Colour: Technically it's brown too
Righty or Lefty: Ambi

[Layer Two: On the inside]
Your Heritage: I am a half Malaysian k!
Your Fears: mm.. I hate butterflies
Your Weakness: careless, blur so on~ <---SAME! THATS WHY
Your Prefect Pizza: I like the Mexican Fiesta thingy

[Layer Three: Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow]
Your First Thought This Morning: KNN, must do report
Your Last Thought Before Bedtime: KNN, must wake up at 3 to do report and tutorial CCB
Your Most Missed Memories: Secondary School days <---SAME

[Layer Four: Your Pick]
Pepsi or Coke: Coke! Pepsi is too sweet and not very gassy which is not very good
MacDonald or Burger King: Burger King has Hershey's Sundae Pie
Single or Group Dates: Single, then group!
Adidas or Nike: Converse <---Must wear emo shoes right eugene
Tea or Nestea: Teh alyia
Chocolate or Vanilla: Chocolate
Cappuccino or Coffee: Mocha is a subset of coffee rightttt

[Layer Five: Do You...]
Smoke:at least 4 sticks of gudang garam reds a day
Curse: take a look above
Take Showers: OF COURSE LA NOT LIKE JOSEPH THE SMELLY SINGH
Have a crush: Attached
Think you are in love: Ask your mother arh

[Layer Six: In the Past Month]
Drank alcohol: 2 hours ago
Gone to the mall: Erh yup
Been on stage: Yup
Eaten sushi: Yup
Dyed your hair: Nope

[Layer Seven: Have You Ever...]
Played a stripping game: Eh good idea arh
Changed who you were to fit in: No need la, I am loved by everyone k

[Layer Eight: Age]
You are hoping to get married at the age of: 28 sua

[Layer Nine: In a Girl/Guy]
Best Eye Colour: Black
Best Hair Colour: Black
Short Hair or Long Hair: Afro like a nigaress

[Layer Ten: What Were You Doing]
1 Min Ago: Typing out this survey!
1 Hour Ago: DOING MY STUPID SIP REPORT
4.5 Hour Ago: Asleep
1 Month Ago: SIP!
1 Year Ago: Should be at reservoir or what

[Layer Eleven: Finish the Sentence]
I Love: Vickie Tan Lin Yin

[Layer Twelve: Tag five people]
1. KJ..<---EH I DO OK
2. Shep
3. Markoos
4. EVERYONE LA DEY DEY DEY

Fuck the only reasons I go to school these days is because of:

Mario Kart

Tan Lin Yin Vickie

Reservoir

The Rest of the People

In no particular order

and the stupid report is still stuck at Findings for 2 weeks! I NEED MOTIVATION!

And I realised my previous posts' emoness can be compared to Lim Teck Wee the paper bag boy

Beng

don't assume others want the same as you

A month since I last posted

But this is an important date for all of us in Law

SIP for only 2 more weeks

Yay!

I can't believe we actually lasted for so long

and time flies by so fast; I can actually hear it whoosh

And yesterday was sort of a closure for us in TPSS 4E4 2004; the old building is to be torn down, and so we went back for a final goodbye

We went back and we utterly destroyed our old classroom

and talked about the good old days

where I'm ragboy

It's easier actually

I must really thank my esteemed friends Prince Chivas, Sir Baileys, Viceroy of British American Tobacco and his pet crustacean for gracing my humble abode today.

I must really impress on my dear readers that they are the best friends you can ever have - they provide a listening ear for those who wish to voice their sorrows, wise advice for those in dire need, and a salve that mend your very soul. And they are the best secret keepers; they will not utter a single word if you do not allow them to.

But I must also express my regret that Ms. Mary Jane could not be present today. She seldom visits the city state of Singapore, and if does, the condition she arrive in makes her no longer welcome for most who desire her.

Once again, thank you my friends, for keeping me company today. Rock on.

Apparently most people don't get socratic irony.

Ok for those who still don't know, Socrates once pretended to be a fool to expose another fool in his lecture.

So the indirect moral of the story is that don't judge the book by its cover la!

Dey!

KNN I darn dulan now!

It seems to me that I'm the only one putting in the effort

Why can't I sleep!

AHHH!

WHYYYYYYYY!

*Whine like Austin*

Ok done!

SIP stinks! Ok, not the job scope; I'm starting to love what I'm doing. Reading up on cases on competition law, and then summarising then for the bosswoman! Pretty fun area of law if you ask me! AND ALL MY BUSINESS IDEAS ARE GOING DOWN THE DRAIN!

I WANT TO START A CARTEL! AND BULLY OTHER BUSINESSES INTO FOLLOWING MY PRICES! AND MY REGULATIONS!

I WANTED TO BE THE KINGPIN IN BUSINESS!

Ok my latent teochew instincts are all coming up!

To the people who will be SIPing tomorrow! Brought to you by the people from Drew and Napier LLC not including Wine and Teck Wee!

ENJOY !

Her name was Mrs. Thompson. As she stood in front of her 5th grade class
on the very first day of school, she told the children a lie. Like most
teachers, she looked at her students and said that she loved them all the
same. But that was impossible, because there in the front row, slumped in
his seat, was a little boy named Teddy Stoddard.

Mrs. Thompson had watched Teddy the year before and noticed that he didn't
play well with the other children, that his clothes were messy and that he
constantly needed a bath. And Teddy could be unpleasant. It got to the
point where Mrs. Thompson would actually take delight in marking his papers
with a broad red pen, making bold X's and then putting a big "F" at the top
of his papers.

At the school where Mrs. Thompson taught, she was required to review each
child's past records and she put Teddy's off until last. However, when she
reviewed his file, she was in for a surprise.

Teddy's first grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is a bright child with a ready
laugh. He does his work neatly and has good manners...he is a joy to be
around."

His second grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is an excellent student, well-liked
by his classmates, but he is troubled because his mother has a terminal
illness and life at home must be a struggle."

His third grade teacher wrote, "His mother's death had been hard on him.
He tries to do his best, but his father doesn't show much interest and his
home life will soon affect him if some steps aren't taken."

Teddy's fourth grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is withdrawn and doesn't show
much interest in school. He doesn't have many friends and he sometimes
sleeps in class".

By now, Mrs. Thompson realized the problem and she was ashamed of herself.
She felt even worse when her students brought her Christmas presents,
wrapped in beautiful ribbons and bright paper, except for Teddy's.
His present was clumsily wrapped in the heavy, brown paper that he got from
a grocery bag. Mrs. Thompson took pains to open it in the middle of the
other presents. Some of the children started to laugh when she found a
rhinestone bracelet with some of the stones missing, and a bottle that was
one quarter full of perfume. But she stifled the children's laughter when
she exclaimed how pretty the bracelet was, putting it on, and dabbing some
of the perfume on her wrist.

Teddy Stoddard stayed after school that day just long enough to say, "Mrs.
Thompson, today you smelled just like my Mom used to."

After the children left she cried for at least an hour. On that very day,
she quit teaching reading, and writing, and arithmetic. Instead, she began
to teach children.

Mrs. Thompson paid particular attention to Teddy. As she worked with him,
his mind seemed to come alive. The more she encouraged him, the faster he
responded. By the end of the year, Teddy had become one of the smartest
children in the class and, despite her lie that she would love all the
children the same, Teddy became one of her "teacher's pets."
A year later, she found a note under her door, from Teddy, telling her that
she was still the best teacher he ever had in his whole life.

Six years went by before she got another note from Teddy. He then wrote
that he had finished high school, third in his class, and she was still the
best teacher he ever had in his whole life.

Four years after that, she got another letter, saying that while things had
been tough at times, he'd stayed in school, had stuck with it, and would
soon graduate from college with the highest of honors. He assured Mrs.
Thompson that she was still the best and favorite teacher he ever had in
his whole life.

Then four more years passed and yet another letter came. This time he
explained that after he got his bachelor's degree, he decided to go a little
further. The letter explained that she was still the best and favorite
teacher he ever had. But now his name was a little longer - the letter was
signed, Theodore F. Stoddard, MD.

The story doesn't end there. You see, there was yet another letter that
spring. Teddy said he'd met this girl and was going to be married.
He explained that his father had died a couple of years ago and he was
wondering if Mrs. Thompson might agree to sit in the place at the wedding
that was usually reserved for the mother of the groom. Of course, Mrs.
Thompson did.

And guess what? She wore that bracelet, the one with several rhinestones
missing. And she made sure she was wearing the perfume that Teddy
remembered his mother wearing on their last Christmas together. They hugged
each other, and Dr. Stoddard whispered in Mrs. Thompson's ear, "Thank you
Mrs. Thompson for believing in me. Thank you so much for making me feel
important and showing me that I could make a difference."

Mrs. Thompson, with tears in her eyes, whispered back. She said, "Teddy,
you have it all wrong. You were the one who taught me that I could make a
difference. I didn't know how to teach until I met you."

I MUST STOP READING INSPIRING STORIES OR I MIGHT JUST STOP BEING LAZY

Hahahah! YAY! I finally got to chat with my brother after like 10000000 million aeons! YAY YAY YAY! He wants to learn canto! So if anyone can teach me canto I will be eternally thankful to you all!

THE JIGSAW PUZZLE

by J.B.STAMPER

It was on the top shelf of an old bookcase, covered with dust and barely

visible. Lisa decided she had to find out what it was. Of all the things

in the old junk shop, it aroused her curiosity most. She had looked

through old books, prints, and postcards for years. Nothing had caught

her interest. Now the old box, high and out of reach, intrigued her.

She looked around for the old man who ran the store. But he had gone

into the back room. She saw a stepladder across the room and brought it

over to the bookcase. It shook on the uneven floorboards as she climbed

to the top step.

Lisa patted her hand along the surface of the top shelf, trying to find

the box. The dirt was thick and gritty on the board. Then she touched

the box. It was made of cardboard. The cardboard was cold and soft from

being in the damp room for such a long time. She lifted the box slowly,

trying to steady her balance on the stepladder.

As the side of the box reached her eye level, she could read the words:

500 PIECES

She sat the box down on top of the stepladder and climbed down a few

steps. Then she blew away some of the dust that had accumulated on the

lid. It billowed up around her with a musty, dead odor. But now she

could make out a few more words on top of the box:

THE STRANGEST

JIGSAW PUZZLE

IN THE WORLD

There were other words underneath that, but they had been rubbed off the

cardboard lid. The big picture on the cover had been curiously damaged.

Lisa could make out areas of light and dark. It looked as though the

scene might be in a room. But most of the picture had been scratched off

the cardboard box, probably by a sharp instrument.

The mysterious nature of the jigsaw puzzle made it even more appealing

to Lisa. She decided she would buy it. The lid was taped down securely;

that probably meant that all the pieces would be there. As she carefully

climbed down the stepladder, holding the box in both a find, just hands,

Lisa smiled to herself. It was quite the sort of thing she had always

hoped to discover whilerummaging through secondhand stores.

Mr. Tuborg, the owner of the store, came out of the back room as she was

walking up to his sales desk. He looked curiously at the box when Lisa

set it down.

"And where did you find that?" he asked her.

Lisa pointed to where she had set up the stepladder. "It was on top of

that bookcase, You could barely see it from the floor."

"Well, I've never seen it before, that's for sure," Mr.Tuborg said.

"Can't imagine how you found it."

Lisa was more pleased than ever about her find. She felt as though the

puzzle had been hiding up there, waiting for her to discover it. She

paid Mr. Tuborg the twenty-five cents he asked for the puzzle and then

wrapped it carefully in the newspapers he gave her to take it home in.

As soon as she had climbed the flight of stairs to her room, Lisa

cleaned off the big table in the center of the room. She set the box

down on it.

THE STRANGEST

JIGSAW PUZZLE

IN THE WORLD

Lisa read the words again. She wondered what they could mean. How

strange could a jigsaw puzzle be? The tape that held the lid down was

still strong. Lisa got out a kitchen knife to slice through it. When she

lifted the cover off the box, a musty smell came from inside. But the

jigsaw pieces all looked in good condition. Lisa picked one up. The

color was faded, but the picture was clear. She could see the shape of a

finger in the piece. It looked like a woman's finger. Lisa sat down and

started to lay out the pieces, top-side up, on the large table. As she

took them from the box, she sorted out the flat-edged pieces from the

inside pieces. Every so often, she would recognize something in one of

the pieces. She saw some blond hair, a windowpane, and a small vase.

There was a lot of wood texture in the pieces, plus what looked like

wallpaper. Lisa noticed that the wallpaper in the puzzle looked a lot

like the wallpaper in her own room. She wondered if her wallpaper was as

old as the jigsaw puzzle. It would be an incredible coincidence, but it

could be the same. By the time Lisa had all the pieces laid out on the

table, it was 6:30. She got up and made herself a sandwich. Already, her

back was beginning to hurt a little from leaning over the table. But she

couldn't stay away from the puzzle. She went back to the table and set

her sandwich down beside her. It was always like that when she did

jigsaws. Once she started, she couldn't stop until the puzzle was all

put together.

She began to sort out the edge pieces according to their coloring. There

were dark brown pieces, whitish pieces, the wallpaper pieces, and some

pieces that seemed to be like glass-perhaps a window. As she slowly ate

her sandwich, Lisa pieced together the border. When she was finished,

she knew she had been right about the setting of the picture when she

had first seen the puzzle. It was a room. One side of the border was

wallpaper. Lisa decided to fill that in first. She was curious about its

resemblance to her own wallpaper.

She gathered all the pieces together that had the blue and lilac

flowered design. As she fit the pieces together, it became clear that

the wallpaper in the puzzle was identical to the wallpaper in her room.

Lisa glanced back and forth between the puzzle and her wall. It was an

exact match.

By now it was 8:30. Lisa leaned back in her chair.

Her back was stiff. She looked over at her window. The night was black

outside. Lisa got up and walked over to the window. Suddenly, she felt

uneasy, alone in the apartment. She pulled the white shade over the

window.

She paced around the room once, trying to think of something else she

might do other than finish the puzzle. But nothing else interested her.

She went back and sat down at the table.

Next she started to fill iii the lower right-hand corner. There was a

rug and then a chair. This part of the puzzle was very dark. Lisa

noticed uneasily that the chair was the same shape as one sitting in the

corner of her room. But the colors didn't seem exactly the same. Her

chair was maroon. The one in the puzzle was in the shadows and seemed

almost black.

Lisa continued to fill in the border toward the middle. There was more

wallpaper to finish on top. The left-hand side did turn out to be a

window. Through it, a half moon hung in a dark sky. But it was the

bottom on the puzzle that began to bother Lisa. As the pieces fell into

place, she saw a picture of a pair of legs, crossed underneath a table.

They were the legs of a young woman. Lisa reached down and ran her hand

along one of her legs. Suddenly, she had felt as though something was

crawling up it, but it must have been her imagination.

She stared down at the puzzle. It was almost three quarters done. Only

the middle remained. Lisa glanced at the lid to the puzzle box:

THE STRANGEST

JIGSAW...

She shuddered.

Lisa leaned back in her chair again. Her back ached. Her neck muscles

were tense and strained. She thought about quitting the puzzle. It

scared her now.

She stood up and stretched. Then she looked down at the puzzle on the

table. It looked different from the higher angle. Lisa was shocked by

what she saw. Her body began to tremble all over. It was

unmistakable---the picture in the puzzle was of her own room. The window

was placed correctly in relation to the table. The bookcase stood in its

exact spot against the wall. Even the carved table legs were the

same....

Lisa raised her hand to knock the pieces of the puzzle apart. She didn't

want to finish the strangest jigsaw puzzle in the world; she didn't want

to find out what the hole in the middle of the puzzle might turn out to

be. But then she lowered her hand. Perhaps it was worse not to know.

Perhaps it was worse to wait and wonder.

Lisa sank back down into the chair at the table. She fought off the fear

that crept into the sore muscles on her back. Deliberately, piece by

piece, she began to fill in the hole in the puzzle. She put together a

picture of a table, on which lay a jigsaw puzzle. This puzzle inside the

puzzle was finished. But Lisa couldn't make out what it showed. She

pieced together the young woman who was herself. As she filled in the

picture, her own body slowly filled with horror and dread. It was all

there in the picture ... the vase filled with blue cornflowers, her red

cardigan sweater, the wild look of fear in her own face.

The jigsaw puzzle lay before her---finished except for two adjoining

pieces. They were dark pieces, ones she hadn't been able to fit into the

area of the window. Lisa looked behind her. The white blind was drawn

over her window. With relief, she realized that the puzzle picture was

not exactly like her room. It showed the black night behind the window

pane and a moon shining in the sky.

With trembling hands, Lisa reached for the second to last piece. She

dropped it into one of the empty spaces. It seemed to be half a face,

but not a human face. She reached for the last piece. She pressed it

into the small hole left in the picture.

The face was complete---the face in the window. It was more horrible

than anything she had ever seen, or dreamed. Lisa looked at the picture

of herself in the puzzle and then back to that face.

When she whirled around. The blind was no longer over her window. The

night showed black through the windowpane. A half moon hung low in the

sky.

Lisa screamed.... The face ... it was there, too.

THE END

AHHHHHHHHH

God this song still makes me feel darn happy!

IF YOU WANNA BE WITH ME!

I had The Dream yesterday.

The last time I had it was years ago.

The characters had grown up, the events had matured, but the ending was still the same.

I can still remember the dream

the events leading to it

the chase

the long rapier she held

the stab

I had always wondered

What if they didn't beg for my life,

What if that day, she was holding a rapier in real life,

Will I still be here typing this nonsense

I don't think so

And this dream had always made me cry

and today had been no exception

I need more then a carton of cigarettes

I need a hug.

Will you marry me?

It's 4.20 and I can't sleep!

The bed feels weird these few days! Like too crumpled or something!

I wish money will drop from the sky so I can get these shirts!

Ok the last 2 shirts come in black but they artists decided that making it transparent when designing in photoshop is a darn good idea! I dunno why but then again I dunno why I am still awake!

And those who protest the God is Dead shirt, and those who claim that I'm emo by wearing that shirt



This is the biggest fuck you I can show to you!

And go read some Nietzche bitches!

Oh and I realised that Alice Lew didn't give me an F for class participation! YOU ROCK LA CHER!