Kwek Kiat Jun V Storm HairDressing Pte Ltd
Celestial Court
[2005] WLR 283
Hearing-Dates: 18 October 2005
18 October 2005
Celestial Court
[2005] WLR 283
Hearing-Dates: 18 October 2005
18 October 2005
Catchwords:
Contract - Defendants can go suck my balls.
Headnote:
The plaintiff, a student, went to Company Storm HairDressing Pte Ltd(Hereby known as Storm), to cut his hair. An employee of Storm, a Serene, however, against the Plaintiff's wishes, cut the plaintiff's fringe to lengths unacceptable. This, inter alia, caused the plaintiff great distraught. The plaintiff considered suicide. After much words from the Plaintiff's friend, a Tang Pin Chen, the plaintiff decided to sue Storm Hairdressing for causing distraught. The case proceeded to the House Of Satire.
Held - The plaintiff is awarded damages for the following reasons -
(i) Defendant's employee, Serene, has a track record for giving bad haircuts.
(ii) The employee, Serene, did not follow the Plaintiff's directions. The plaintiff asked Serene to pass him the "style book", which Serene failed to do so. Also, Serene cut the Plaintiff's fringe to a length unacceptable, which the Plaintiff told her to "trim".
(iii) The defendant's employee gave the Plaintiff a rush job as the employee Serene had an appointment. However, the defendant owe the Plaintiff a certain degree of workmanship which the defendant failed to do so.
Per Curiam i) Much of the difficulty of this case lies on the terminology "unacceptable length." and "trim". The defendants argued that the length to cut is within the perogative of the employee, as the employee is a professional, thus knowing the exact length to cut. However, the court decides that the plaintiff is to be informed, which the employee failed to do so.
Notes:
This is a satire. The author will not hold any responsibilty for any cases won or lost, or any resemblance to any cases or people, alive or dead.
Cases Referred to:
Randy VS Storm Hairdressing Pte Ltd 2004
Xing Xiang VS Monsoon 2005
Introduction:
Please read headnote for more detail. The author does not wish to type out any more background infomation. Don't laugh Sheree.
Counsel:
Tang Pin Chen, Talk Cock Advocates and Solicitors for Plaintiff. Cheryl Tang, Has Three Breast Ha Ha Ha for Defendant.
Panel:
Lord Bao Qing Tian, Lady Guan Yin Ma, Lord Jesus Christ.
Judgement-1: Lord Bao Qing Tian
Judgement 1
KJ is handsome. K THNX BYE. Serene is in the wrong. If this was the dynasty I lived in, Serene would have gotten beheaded.
Judgement-2: Lady Guan Yin Ma
Judgement 2
Please refrain from beheading Serene. Compassion is the key to life. Orh Mee Tuo Fuo.
Judgement-3: Lord Jesus Christ
Judgement 3
Thou thinketh that if thee Lord Bao were to beheadeth Serene, Thou willeth resurrecteth Serene, for Serene is a Christianth name, and if thee Lord Bao were to executeth, he shalt executeth Judas, who betrayeth thou. Amen.
Disposition
Storm Hairdressing Pte Ltd will sacrifice a goat for Lord Jesus Christ, and to pay the Plaintiff for damages, in amount of $1000000000 hell notes or incense, or both, whatever the Plaintiff deems correct.
Court Dismissed.
Contract - Defendants can go suck my balls.
Headnote:
The plaintiff, a student, went to Company Storm HairDressing Pte Ltd(Hereby known as Storm), to cut his hair. An employee of Storm, a Serene, however, against the Plaintiff's wishes, cut the plaintiff's fringe to lengths unacceptable. This, inter alia, caused the plaintiff great distraught. The plaintiff considered suicide. After much words from the Plaintiff's friend, a Tang Pin Chen, the plaintiff decided to sue Storm Hairdressing for causing distraught. The case proceeded to the House Of Satire.
Held - The plaintiff is awarded damages for the following reasons -
(i) Defendant's employee, Serene, has a track record for giving bad haircuts.
(ii) The employee, Serene, did not follow the Plaintiff's directions. The plaintiff asked Serene to pass him the "style book", which Serene failed to do so. Also, Serene cut the Plaintiff's fringe to a length unacceptable, which the Plaintiff told her to "trim".
(iii) The defendant's employee gave the Plaintiff a rush job as the employee Serene had an appointment. However, the defendant owe the Plaintiff a certain degree of workmanship which the defendant failed to do so.
Per Curiam i) Much of the difficulty of this case lies on the terminology "unacceptable length." and "trim". The defendants argued that the length to cut is within the perogative of the employee, as the employee is a professional, thus knowing the exact length to cut. However, the court decides that the plaintiff is to be informed, which the employee failed to do so.
Notes:
This is a satire. The author will not hold any responsibilty for any cases won or lost, or any resemblance to any cases or people, alive or dead.
Cases Referred to:
Randy VS Storm Hairdressing Pte Ltd 2004
Xing Xiang VS Monsoon 2005
Introduction:
Please read headnote for more detail. The author does not wish to type out any more background infomation. Don't laugh Sheree.
Counsel:
Tang Pin Chen, Talk Cock Advocates and Solicitors for Plaintiff. Cheryl Tang, Has Three Breast Ha Ha Ha for Defendant.
Panel:
Lord Bao Qing Tian, Lady Guan Yin Ma, Lord Jesus Christ.
Judgement-1: Lord Bao Qing Tian
Judgement 1
KJ is handsome. K THNX BYE. Serene is in the wrong. If this was the dynasty I lived in, Serene would have gotten beheaded.
Judgement-2: Lady Guan Yin Ma
Judgement 2
Please refrain from beheading Serene. Compassion is the key to life. Orh Mee Tuo Fuo.
Judgement-3: Lord Jesus Christ
Judgement 3
Thou thinketh that if thee Lord Bao were to beheadeth Serene, Thou willeth resurrecteth Serene, for Serene is a Christianth name, and if thee Lord Bao were to executeth, he shalt executeth Judas, who betrayeth thou. Amen.
Disposition
Storm Hairdressing Pte Ltd will sacrifice a goat for Lord Jesus Christ, and to pay the Plaintiff for damages, in amount of $1000000000 hell notes or incense, or both, whatever the Plaintiff deems correct.
Court Dismissed.