KBOXing is the best mens!

Damn fun day! Went to school at 9 o clock! Met up with Shi Ying. We actually wanted to go for MacroEcons lecture but, due to unforseen circumstances, we ended up in the project room!














I believe that I'm smart! But the book said no!















The expression on her face speaks a thousand words!















Just like a news reporter.















Intelligence babe. Intelligence.















I was sleeping!

Then after the photo sessions, me and Shi Ying drew stuff. The end result?




















This picture! The one with the camp on fire, the angel with some ugly alien, and the stick with the triangle head throwing the hadoken was done by Shi Ying. The others are done by me. Style ok! After this picture, we played pictionary! Shi Ying drew a Police man and a Van! Guess what's the word? MATHAVAN! HAHAHAHA! Damn nice word play la sis!

Vas came in and we played hangman. Then mud came and we played some more. Went to MBS. Damn boring. Nothing much!

Went KBOX! Knn. Shi Ying please go join Singapore Idol! Hahah! Sang songs by Chao Meng! They all damn cool la. Next time I wanna be like them! Hahah! Went home after that. Nothing much.

The pit booked liao mens!

The pit for Christmas eve is booked liao mens! Spread the Gospel!

BBQ Park : Pasir Ris Park
BBQ Area : 1
BBQ Pit : 36

The pit is near Coasta Sands Pasir Ris. Wanted to book near the park but the whole fucking pit is booked! So pai seh arh home boys and girls. Alight at Coasta Sands and walk there.

See you all!

Random Insanity!

My eyes' sizes are not proportionate now! Damn it! My right eye smaller then my right! I wanna wear an eyepatch!

Went to play pool with the gang yesterday. When we were walking towards Pavillion, there was this damn funny aunty!

Aunty:*Passes out some brochure.*Xiao di, yao bu yao lai ze li? (Wanna patronise my store or whatever)
KJ:*Look at the brochure* Eh aunty! Wo men quan bu shi qi shi ba shui yao jie hun?(Eh aunty! We 17-8 how to get married?)
Aunty:*Aiyah! Ze li ye ke yi pang ni da ban ma!(Aiyah! Here also can help you make over mah!)
KJ:Wo gou handsome liao la aunty!(I handsome enough liao la aunty!)

Guess the aunty thinks that I not handsome enough. Hahaha! Sorry arh. Gimme some chance to bueh hiao bai!

Today's Criminal Law was a bore! My tutor, Mr Mathavan, was exactly like Mr Reginald Johns! He wears a watch on his left hand, a digital Casio or something, and he speaks EXACTLY LIKE HIM! The deep voice! Damn it! Mr Johns has a long lost brother! Crim Law was boring tho. Was playing those "fortune telling" games with a piece of paper. The one which you have to fold into some squarish shapes and have those fortunes written on it. hahah! The fortunes were all biased tho! Only 1 No! The rest all yes!

Went to MaryBrown! Played more party games like Seven Up, 007 and the yi ji qing wa tiao sia shui(One frog jumps into the water. Bleh.) Damn fun ok!

Ok. Enough typing! Time to relak one corner in a circular room!

Knn. Your new photo look HIDEOUS. You should know who you are.

LSM 2's tutor suck. She wasn't like Mrs Kurup, who would tell us a lot of stuff about the law. She would just say, you interested? Go find out. WTF. Please Mrs Kurup, change 1L05's tutor.

Changed my blog title + skin! Upgrade babe. From manofnoregrets to thebengnextdoor.

First week of school was fun! Psycho was a rocker. The lecturer was like Willy Wonka! He was slender, tall, and caucasian, and he was the most eccentric person I ever known. My idol babe. Instead of pointing at a person, and asking the unlucky chap to answer, he throws POKEBALLS! Where can you find such a great teacher?! He is my idol!

Played badminton with the other 2 law zais. Damn tired babe. 3 hours straight! Now my arms and legs ache.

Gotta go get myself a new bag. See you bengs and lians!

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

School is starting! 2 more days before going to TP everyday. As I mentioned 6 months ago, life is always a big dilemma. You won't really learn to appreciate something after you lose it. Sounds cliche, but look! When at the start of the hols, I was like "Knn! 2 and a half months? Zho lan?" now I am "Knn. So many things haven't do then kui Oh liao. Dui arh!"

This semester, I am so gonna study. Last sem's results were abysmal! Must TRY to attend all lectures and TRY not to fall sick.

I'm just pulling words out of my ass now so I shall present to you all a 4D sculpture. Mr Zhen Hao and Miss Jia Ying, as design students, you all must try to make a 4D model!

http://www.physorg.com/news7409.html

Man I hate Winamp "What's playing" function. I was looking at you know, erm...stuff.....when I realised the fucking program was broadcasting what I saw to the bloody INTARWEB! Knn pai seh siaz.

Just redeemed Jay's new album! For those we are still hesitating whether to buy his new album, please, buy it! It's worth the $20 bucks!

Thank you Jay Chou for making my life complete.

Just finished watching Cowboy Bebop! Damn sad anime. BTW this anime features Singapore in one of it's episodes. Cosmopolitan babe!

School's starting in 2 weeks time. Die boy.

Met c1 and eug just now. Went to KBOX. Sang lots of songs. This time, we didn't sing the standard amount of Jay Chou songs! What we did was to sing Shao Nian by Guang Liang. A lot of times. KBOXing when there's only 3 people rocks!
















Being a construction worker is cool!
















Classic Ah Beng style.















Wei Lian'd!















Rocker Lifestyle!















Just like Aragorn! But Aragorn don't have the specs!















KJ and the Wand Of Stupidity















Climbing the corporate ladder!















Smiling is not allowed in the construction yard.















Enough said! Ask for more details -X















Songs are for everyone!















Doggy style!















Juliet! Please get down!















Bennified.















Rocker on a rocker.















Wry smile.















Randy and the wand.















Wei Lian and his guitar!















Shopping spree!

Kwek Kiat Jun V Storm HairDressing Pte Ltd

Celestial Court

[2005] WLR 283

Hearing-Dates: 18 October 2005

18 October 2005

Catchwords:
Contract - Defendants can go suck my balls.

Headnote:
The plaintiff, a student, went to Company Storm HairDressing Pte Ltd(Hereby known as Storm), to cut his hair. An employee of Storm, a Serene, however, against the Plaintiff's wishes, cut the plaintiff's fringe to lengths unacceptable. This, inter alia, caused the plaintiff great distraught. The plaintiff considered suicide. After much words from the Plaintiff's friend, a Tang Pin Chen, the plaintiff decided to sue Storm Hairdressing for causing distraught. The case proceeded to the House Of Satire.

Held - The plaintiff is awarded damages for the following reasons -

(i) Defendant's employee, Serene, has a track record for giving bad haircuts.
(ii) The employee, Serene, did not follow the Plaintiff's directions. The plaintiff asked Serene to pass him the "style book", which Serene failed to do so. Also, Serene cut the Plaintiff's fringe to a length unacceptable, which the Plaintiff told her to "trim".
(iii) The defendant's employee gave the Plaintiff a rush job as the employee Serene had an appointment. However, the defendant owe the Plaintiff a certain degree of workmanship which the defendant failed to do so.

Per Curiam i) Much of the difficulty of this case lies on the terminology "unacceptable length." and "trim". The defendants argued that the length to cut is within the perogative of the employee, as the employee is a professional, thus knowing the exact length to cut. However, the court decides that the plaintiff is to be informed, which the employee failed to do so.

Notes:

This is a satire. The author will not hold any responsibilty for any cases won or lost, or any resemblance to any cases or people, alive or dead.

Cases Referred to:

Randy VS Storm Hairdressing Pte Ltd 2004
Xing Xiang VS Monsoon 2005

Introduction:

Please read headnote for more detail. The author does not wish to type out any more background infomation. Don't laugh Sheree.

Counsel:
Tang Pin Chen, Talk Cock Advocates and Solicitors for Plaintiff. Cheryl Tang, Has Three Breast Ha Ha Ha for Defendant.

Panel:
Lord Bao Qing Tian, Lady Guan Yin Ma, Lord Jesus Christ.

Judgement-1: Lord Bao Qing Tian

Judgement 1
KJ is handsome. K THNX BYE. Serene is in the wrong. If this was the dynasty I lived in, Serene would have gotten beheaded.

Judgement-2: Lady Guan Yin Ma

Judgement 2
Please refrain from beheading Serene. Compassion is the key to life. Orh Mee Tuo Fuo.

Judgement-3: Lord Jesus Christ

Judgement 3
Thou thinketh that if thee Lord Bao were to beheadeth Serene, Thou willeth resurrecteth Serene, for Serene is a Christianth name, and if thee Lord Bao were to executeth, he shalt executeth Judas, who betrayeth thou. Amen.

Disposition
Storm Hairdressing Pte Ltd will sacrifice a goat for Lord Jesus Christ, and to pay the Plaintiff for damages, in amount of $1000000000 hell notes or incense, or both, whatever the Plaintiff deems correct.

Court Dismissed.

going out to buy a nice T shirt later!

Listened to Jay Chou's Ye Chu. Moonlight Sonata or something. Or Nocturne. Jay's signature style. At first I hate that song. The more you listen the more you like it. And you can only understand it if you have the lyrics. ATTA JAY!

Those willing to sacrifice civil rights for social security should deserve neither.

How I wish everyone understands this phrase. I'm sick and tired of when I tell people I want to vote for Opposition, everyone says that I'm an ingrate. There's no gratefulness in politics; only the present and the future. The past are ashes. I wish that I can blog out all my thoughts without fear of the bloody sedition act, not that what I wanna say is racist or whatever. I'm sick of censoring what I wanna say cos' the Party might sue me. Damn it.

Singapore is independent for what? 40 years? For the overwhelming majority of these 40 years, we have been living in peace with our other friends. Is there even a need for the sedition act anymore? I doubt so. If we still cannot learn to live in peace with others after 40 years, I don't think I will be proud to live in this country anyway. The sedition act is outdated in my opinion. Not that my opinion is worth anything, but it's my damn opinion anyway.

What a hectic week!

Sunday

Visited my brother at SAFTI. Hmm. He looks mature now! Damn fit arh boy! SAFTI may look like paradise outside, but it's more like Auswitz Concentration Camp. A lot of wayanging and stuff. Not gonna elaborate. Might get sued for Defamation or something.

Anyway, when I was in the car, bad news struck. My cousin died. Yup. She was 12. Cogential heart disease robbed my cousin's life away. I still remember what she said. She said she sooo wanna live. Now she's gone. May you rest in peace girl.

Monday

Went to Aljunied to paste stickers. My job ok? After pasting shit for 10 hours, I went to my cousin's funeral. Damn heart breaking. The mother was so....lost. She weren't crying, but her eyes showed no emotions. Just...eyes. Glazed. It's really sad to lose your daughter to some bird shit disease. They chanted Buddhist scriptures. And after chanting, guess what? They arranged to play Christian hymms as my cousin wanted to be a C Girl. Weird eh. Went home.

Tuesday

Went to the funeral. This time it was to go to the crematorium. The mother let out a scream that really sounded....primal? The aunt gave an eulogy of sorts. I soo wanted to cry then. But for some reason, I can't? Went to the crematorium. Damn high tech there. There's this thingy that raised the coffin, this thingy to send the coffin into the...erm...furnace or something. Death is efficient huh? Went home after that. Tired. Slept.

Wednesday.

Went to work. Received another weird news? Jeslyn called 18 siao down to whack someone! At first I fucking don't believe. But guess what? It was true? Jeslyn, 18 siaoer? HAHAHA! The thing got snowballed to something big. Time for Thursday.

Thursday.

Went to take my CSA paper. Won't elaborate. Boring. Kimberly called me. She said Jeslyn and someone got charged for rioting? At first I thought Kimberly was charged too. So I went down to TPSS. I had evidence arh. Talked to Michael Toh. Talked to Bernard. Lol. I really hope Jeslyn goes to Girls Home arh. Lets see.

Being a member of an unlawful assembly.
142. Whoever, being aware of facts which render any assembly an unlawful assembly, intentionally joins that assembly, or continues in it, is said to be a member of an unlawful assembly.

Punishment.
142. Whoever is a member of an unlawful assembly, shall be punished with imprisonment for a tem which may extend to 6 months, or with fine, or both.

hope you get your 6 months Jeslyn.

I've learned a valuable lesson from these 3 weeks. Nothing can bring back the feelings. Nothing. I was truely the fool. Aren't we all? When the truth is right smack in front of your face, and yet, somehow, you will never see it.

I still remember that day, one year ago. It was magical. Soon after the O levels. We went to CHJIMES. Sat at the well, telling stories. I'd long forgotten what she had told me, but there was this one thing I will always remember. I caught her gaze, and stared right into the darkness of her pupils. Eternity stared back. In that one moment, I was lost in the cosmos in her eyes. I would give everything now, to have that moment back. To be like a kid in love.

Those times really rocked I guess. I would wake up and smile to myself, and think "gee, what will happen today?", unlike now. These few weeks were really a torture. The feeling of being tied down. The feeling of dread. Every waking hour, I get these feelings.

The fault lies in me. But guess what? I like being in fault.

The Dummies Guide For Friendster Singaporean Girls Classification

Let's face it; friendster (http://www.friendster.com) is a labyrinth. There is a myriad of different people inside, each with their own quirks. Today, let KJ teach you all the basics of classifying the girls you find in Friendster!

Just a few pointers to note.

a) Girls in friendster are seldom 18 and above. Often, they are minors. No sex for you all busters.

b)Pictures may speak a thousand words, but those words are lies. The super HAWT chick you stumble upon may just be another JCEX. Guess what JCEX is. Ask Mr Pin Chen or Busted boy if you wanna know.

c)The profiles are coated with honey. The girl may claim that she speak French, Deutch and Japanese, but often, they use translators. Just like JCEX.

Ok. With the pointers out of the way, now lets go into the main points of this blog post! The classifications of singaporean girls!

There are 1 sub type/s of SG girls found in Friendster. They are a)Acttcuttetessw0rx. Further research on the other subtypes are taking place now, thanks to the courtesy of Jie Jun, our chief researcher/editor.

A)Acttcuttetessworx. Never seen them in Friendster before? Go check JCEX's friendster account and you will see a prime example! A sample of their profile reads something like this:

Miee ishh a f0urrteenn yearrs 0ldd gurrl wh00 l0rbbe t00
[X]l000kk att starrxx[X]
[X]surff fwendsterr[X]
[X]euu[X]

As you can see, one of the main characteristics of A type girls in Friendster is they typpe liekk disshh. I swear to you all, it takes 1 bloody company of Code Breakers in the M16 intelligence unit to break that bloody code. But yet they persist.

Another characteristic of A) type girls is their 1337 photography skillz. They will take photos like this:



As beautifully illustrated by the Chief Illustrator Kiat Jun, this illustration shows how A) type girls take photos. Their camera, usually a phone camera, is tilted in such a degree that the photo shows the HUMONGOUS eyes of the girl. And what's more, often, they fill their mouths with air so that their cheeks are bloated up, like some kind of pufferfish. Like this.

Illustration not realistic so as not to resemble any person, living or dead.

The reason for making themselves look like modern Medusas is yet unknown. Our chief researcher, Jie Jun, thinks that it might be ingrained in their genes. The author KJ has enlisted help from various experts like Zhen "Busted Boy" Hao and Pin "Chenster"Chen for help. The results will be out in the next issue of Dummies Guide. Thank you.

Been playing this puzzle game introduced by Zhen Hao yesterday. Fun. There's like 60+ levels, and each of them contains a puzzle of some sort. Went to level 29 yesterday. The game is quite easy at this point. Except level 20.

You know what level 20 is about? ITS ABOUT MATH! @$#%#@! They gave me some fraction stuff to solve. And those in 4E4 will know that I know nuts about math. So I had to spend 1 bloody hour on 1 simple sum. Great Einstein.

You Are an Emo Rocker!

Expressive and deep, lyrics are really your thing. That doesn't mean you don't rock out... You just rock out with meaning. For you, rock is more about connecting than grandstanding.

What Kind of Rocker Are You?

Your Birthdate: July 31

Your birthday suggests that you are a good organizer and manager, an energetic and dependable worker; attributes often showing success in the business world. Serious and sincere, you have the patience and determination necessary to accomplish a great deal. Your approach can be original, but often rigid and stubborn. Sensitivity may be present, but feeling are likely to be repressed. You are good with detail and insist on accuracy, but at times scatter energies. You're a practical thinker, but not without imagination. You love travel and don't like to live alone. You should probably marry early, for responsibility is necessary for your stability.

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

WTF?! I should probably marry early? Oh Christ.

The first week of the hols is over. State of mind : Ennui. Damn boring at home la!

God! Einstein has proven that Jeslyn is ugly! It will now be accepted as a universal truth! All hail Einstein!

Nowadays, Toys R Us seem to hold a certain allure on me!

Like this picture. The manofnoregrets with the golden gun! Just like Mr Bond! If only I can have the hot babes Bond always seem to have too......









Someday, KJ is going to be the next Jimi Hendrix! Look at the style! The allure! The passion!












But even SuperStars need have sunglasses to look cool! Note the difference between Ah Chen and me! Who's cooler? KJ right!?












Ready for battle anytime! Just like Gimli! But I taller then Gimli ok!? I not dwarf!













The gheyness is apparent in this photo.













I ain't much better either......

It's September 11. Man. Hard to believe that 4 years ago, 2 planes hit America. How time flies. The people of America lost their sons, fathers, daughters and whatever for 4 years. And Bush is sending more sons and fathers and daughters and mothers to fight some bloody bullshit war. Amen brudda.

So, exams are over. Besides the catastrophic CSA exam, the rest was easy. Law was average. Gerrard was the man. Left the room in 1 hour. And I thought I could blaze the way for my fellow students. So much for my happy ending.

1 semester in Poly is over in a flash? What the fck. I just barely started to like my class and snap! Time for a new class! But I guess Law is lucky. We have 150 sad souls in the course, and I guess we 150 really can bond together or something.

When I first entered Law, I was like, "Shit!" WTF and I, KJ the LawBane, inside Law? But Fate raised her cruel head and shoved my inside. Great. So I entered the course with an empty mind but a couragous heart. And my courage nearly failed. Everyone was like, good English speakers and they seem to fcking know everything about the Law, including CJ's wife? And here I am, KJ the LawBane, mixing around with them. I thought the people inside were posers. They sounded artificial, not like good ole' 4E4. They all came from some top schools or something, and there was KJ, from Tampines Sec. Great. The underdog.

But then, after some time, you could sort of see that everyone was just like you in a way? They were all trying to carve out their own destiny from this helluva course called Law and Management, and many, contary to my belief, are not muggers? In fact, 1L05 is just like 4E4, we are a bunch of slackers, trying to float our own boats. And they ain't no Englishmen either. Some of us barely speak proper English! And I have great friends like Ah Pek Mud, Shi "Red" Ying, Vickie, Sheena and gang. We are plain Joes and Janes. And Law is not the mystical subject I thought it would be. I'm so glad I'm in Law. This course totally changed my perspective in life.

And this is only the first semester.

Exams are almost over! Final paper later! Law! Then it will be milk and honey for 9 months! Song boh JC people?

The first paper was CSA. Not for me anyway. Because I didn't fcking attend the paper. That's right. KJ did not fcking attend the paper. I thought it was 11.30! BUT NOOO! The time 9.30 did not register into my mind, and only 11.30 was scribed into my brain. And so KJ went to school at 11.30.

*calls Shi Ying*

SY: Eh? Why you today never go exam?
KJ: Huh? Not 11.30?
SY: No la! 9.30!

At first I thought it was a terrible joke. Scared the living jesus out of me. I asked again, but NOOO! It's really 11.30! Now imagine this. Picture this in your mind. The subject you could have aced, but because of some phantom numbers dancing in your mind, you missed it. Amen.

So poor KJ had to travel to the Polyclinic. Where all the diseased people gathers. And KJ had to think of some disease. KJ waited for another half hour before the bloody doctor attended to me.

Doc: So what happened to you?
KJ: Stomache ache.....(piteous tone)
Doc: Ok lie down on the bed. Let me inspect you.
KJ: Sure doc...
Doc: *Starts to knock everywhere on my stomache
Doc: Where pain?

At this moment, a flashback happened! I sort of thought back to Mr Hafiz's lesson on where the intestine is.....

KJ: Erh....here!
Doc: Oooo! What did you eat yesterday?

Flashback to yesterday again. Beer plus some fish stuff.

KJ: Erh...Nor Hiong Heh Pia!
Doc: OOO! You got stomache flu or something!
KJ: I guess so......
Doc: Here is your MC!

The fcken doc told me something about the Polyclinic procedure of MC being standardised. Important point to note. I believed that fucker. I paid my money and went to Expo to study. Hoever, Fate raised her cruel head once more, inflicting me with more trouble. KJ called Phillis Chong, his CSA teacher. She told her the school needs the exemption shit! OH MY GOD OH NOES! Then, KJ had to spend another 12 fucking bucks on another MC, this time with success. God. I hate doctors. And they said that lawyers lie. It's the damn doctors that lie!

Thus ended 1 day of exams. Cool shit huh.

A moment to remember!

It started with me, Randy and PC wanting to study....

It ended on a sad note. I finished reading, say.....2 pages of Economics?

Took EC with them. Won't post pictures. Illegal.

We met Jeslyn and Joanna. That's right, my ex and Joanna. Still as ugly as ever(Jeslyn).


Sad. Really sad. The unholy alliance between Jeslyn and Joanna. You know, the news of them being gan jie jie and gan mei mei shocked me to the bone. The J alliance. Luckily, my mum calls me Jie Jun. So I have 2 J in my name. I will not lose to Js!

With the J alliance leaving in a sad note, me, Randy and Pin Chen went to the playground.


we wear hanging, using our legs, onto the chin-up bar! Thats why we look so spastic!

Samantha SM'd Si Yuan!


Zhao shang wo men shi student, wan shang wo men shi brother!


Bukkakke with a smile!


Eh Si Yuan! Hum Ji la! PUT DOWN THAT HAND!


The mummy returns!


As what the pastor says, jesus sacrificed his sinless body for the sins of mankind....

Don't ask me what was i thinking just now!

That marked the end of a long day.

Went to a Magic Show today. Spook Show 2005. The magic was alright, but the preaching in the end was horrendous. The show was organised by some Faith Community Baptist Church btw. The pastor was charismatic; when he talks, he talks as if he really wants those infidelic pagan scum among the crowd to become children of God. He should be a politician someday.

There was this part of his speech which I found interesting? The pastor said free will was frowned upon or something like that. If free will is frowned upon, does that mean that democracy, in which its foundation of free will was built on, wrong? Does that mean that America, a Christian majority country, is doomed? And Soviet Russia, Nazi Germany both has God's blessings? What sort of God is that then? A God that encourages thinking that emphasises on the State's well being, not the individual's? "For we are all sheep that gone astray?"

I really have trouble understanding this religion.

God. Noticed a lot of changes in my friends! C1 now has purple hair, pin chen has grey hair, ZH kim moh and Eugene looked fcking handsome now with his contacts! Lol! He stunned me ytd arh! Whoah. Total change in his look. From geekness to Uber-Gentleman style. Shuai dai le la Eugene!

I digged out 1 CD my brother burned ages ago. It contained Luna Sea songs, X Japan songs and 1 very old school Zhang Xue You song? The lyrics sort of go like this "Ai ni gou bu gou duo, dui ni gou bu gou hao...." or something like that. Bloody nice. I sort of remembered me listening to this song a long time ago. Bring back memories mens. With Luna Sea. Getting old. A few days ago, at the badminton court, me, mud and Shi Ying were singing old school songs like "Sealed with a kiss" and whatever la! Old songs rocks! Not to mention the latest Karaoke gathering in which me and Hiap Hiap sang "Yue Liang Dai Biao Wo De Xin". Sounds old school, but me and Hiap sang it with emotion. I bet those unkers outside were "Crying Their Hearts Out".

Holidays are coming! I LOOK FORWARD TO IT! AND TEACHERS' DAY! I wanna look at Cheryl Tang, Unker Neo and everyone! I LOOK FORWARD TO ITTT!!!!

Eh. Sheree. Dun laugh.

Hmm. My gang of lawyers.

http://www.liveprayer.com/java/index.html

WTF this is 1 of the most twisted short story I'd ever read! Basically this short story is written by a Christian that depicts Harry Potter trying to find Lord Jesus. Christ. 2000 years of honor gone down the drain. I think everytime a hard core Christian rapes the Bible, Jesus gets re-crucified. Sheree. Jesus l0rbbe euu!

Finally! After sooo many months of getting "You look like Sylvester" comments, things are finally starting to pay off!

A = Aunty

A = Eh. Xiao di. Ni shu ze ge tou fa hen xiang Shen Xiang Long leh.

KJ = Huh?

A = Shen Xiang Long!

KJ = ORH! Sylvester arh!

A = Yah! Eh xiao di! Ni yao chi curry pok mah? Aunty qing ni!

Kj = Hahah! Bu yao la. Pai Seh.

A = Bu yong jing la! Ni xiang Shen Xiang Long mahs.

WTF! In the end I didn't take the curry puff. Shy arh. Everyone was looking at me by that time. Oh btw. She was the aunty who said that eating KFC will get cancer. Hmm. Curry puffs are more healthy I guess. I think somehow Gary is related to this. Shatec style. Not Sheree style. Shatec.

It is one of those days when sick realisation hits your squarely on the face. Just like the day i met Sheree?

I realised I've been dumb. Really dumb. Insane, stupid, whatever. Wasting 3 years of my life on something you can never ever have. Just like a mongrel howling at the stars. So near yet so far. Lesson learned? I've been deluding myself; now it's time for me to stand up and continue. Wish me strength. Oh, by the way. Fuck you.

Thanks for everything everyone! The BBQ was fun. The trip after the BBQ was even more fun! Me, Emily and Gary went Clark Quay to walk around? Went to Orchard Towers. Looked at erm. Man become women? Their voice sounds abit like Sheree. Hmm. Love you all!

Hmm. I have a new girls theorem! Just created!

The prettyness of a girl is inverse proportional of the distance between you and her.
One can easily calculate the overall prettiness a girl has. Oh. The SI unit is Sheree. S for short. Together with my first and second theory, these 3 theories shall now be known as the Law of KJ. Nobel Prize is mine!

You know what's the 1 thing I dislike most? Thats when you, as a law abiding citizen of Singapore, start pissing into a urinal, and kids/people start to urinate beside you. That's actually al right. But the problem starts when the uncle unzips his damn fly and start jumping like a bloody frog to the urinal, trying to control his bladder or something! You will start to pray for the urine not to spray onto you and whatever. Or when the person puts Johnson back into the underwear after they left the urinal! Trying to show off their girth! My yi tian jian longer then your John ok! Or when the dad teaches the kid how to piss. They will go:

"Ah boy arh, take your bird bird out and shoot your urine out ok?"

I mean, it's not wrong to teach your kids how to, erm, utilise public utilities. But do it in private ok?

I just received this bulletin in my friendster. The bulletin organised some dates, and if your birthday falls on a date, you are a colour. So I am PINK. Yup. Pink. Why am I not orange, black or some respectable colours like Green? But. I am Pink. What's more, look what they said about being PINK!

*PINK* You are always trying your best in
everything, and like to help and care for other
people. But you are not easily satisfied. You have
negative thoughts about niggers, and you look for
man love because your a fairy.

I LOOK FOR MAN LOVE?! And I am a fairy? Since when am I the tooth fairy? I thought the tooth fairy is shariffah? Negative thoughts about niggers. Hmm. Interesting.

Eugene! Don't laugh! YOU ARE PINK ALSO!

Have you guys and gals noticed the current cumming of those "ChioBu" clubs in friendster? You know what I always suspect? Behind these ChioBu clubs are Dirty old men playing chinese chess with these young girls faces! Hmm. Maybe I should start my own ChioBu friendster account. Then charge people such as PC, Randy and Hiap Hiap to access that account to play chinese chess! Don't think can work tho. There's Tok-Kong.Com as my competitor! NO FIGHT!

Congrats c1! You found a person you love! Hope you all <3 each other 1314, together forever! Hahha! Sounds cheesy even to me! Remember. 2 advices to you!

Imagine how many pregnant teens said the same thing?

Incest is the best! Put your sister to the test!

Ok. Enough pissing c1 off!

In the (bitter) memories of Sheree. I'm gonna blog this post act cute style!

m0ii jusstt cumm backk fr0mm Malaysiaa w0rrxx. Deree damnn h0tt! eee! Butt miee g0tt att therree cann0ee l3hhx. quittee funn acctuallyy. hehehe. Miee g0tt see seaa urrchiinn! g00tt al0tt 0ff spikkeyy spiikkess de. Verryy err x1n w0rxxs. Miee 0sh0 gott goo sn0rrkellinng! g0tt see fisshhyy! Dammnn kaawwaaaiii neehhx! miee g0tt g00 sunntann 0sh0. H0pee aftterr tann myy aii aii ZH PC Randy and Luqy wann to cumonmytits! blacckk blacckk mayyb theyy likke. Heehhee. Goiingg t0 stopp typpingg liikkee diisshh le. Revverrtt bacckk.

WTF. Typing that way is damn hard. Nvm.

In the past, bravery is when you fight dragons. Nowadays, you just flash a boob and you are so FUCKING brave) person.

Whoah.

Are they really serious when they said these?

Jerry Falwell

AIDS is the wrath of a just God against homosexuals. To oppose it would be like an Israelite jumping in the Red Sea to save one of Pharoah's chariotters

AIDS is not just God's punishment for homosexuals; it is God's punishment for the society that tolerates homosexuals.

Joseph Scheidler (Pro-Life Action League)

"I would like to outlaw contraception...contraception is disgusting – people using each other for pleasure.

J. B. Stoner (White Supremacist)

"We had lost the fight for the preservation of the white race until God himself intervened in earthly affairs with AIDS to rescue and preserve the white race that he had created.... I praise God all the time for AIDS."

"AIDS is a racial disease of Jews and Niggers, and fortunately it is wiping out the queers. I guess God hates queers for several reasons. There is one big reason to be against queers and that is because every time some white boy is seduced by a queer into becoming a queer, means his white bloodline has run out."

SHIT DUDE! AIDS are killing people all over the world and they said that it is God sent? They are saying that it is purging the unclean? MOTHERF#@!%#@$%KERS? What about those who accidentally used contaminated syringes? HUH?

Makes you think about the magnitude of words, and actions.

By the way, this picture is part of a project by

http://postsecret.blogspot.com/

Which lets you send annonymous postcards to them to make an art piece or something. Do check it out.

Another gem.

Woo! The tests are gonna be over in about 13 hours time! Gotta celebrate! The tests this week kind of suck. Econs is alright. CSA is alright. PoM....HAHA! I think i will fail that stupid subject! Damn Management. Been meeting up with that Randy these few days? We STUDIED OK!? Me, Luqman, Zul and Randy STUDYING! The 4 slackers of 4e4 studying. What the hell is wrong these days! Yeah! And read Van's blog! SHE FAILED! HAHAHAHAHA! I KNEW THIS DAY WOULD COME OK! NA NA NANANANA! K. Enough of the childishness. Van. You failed. Na na! I can't help gloating!!!

Hmm. Had a really nice trip yesterday. Randy and I wanted to study, so we met up with Pin Chen to play for a while before we start mugging. But due to some unforseen circumstances, we went to play pool. For 3 hours. Till 9 o clock. No more studying. Yay. Haha!

Just found out that the world is so damn small! Yesterday's pool trip was joined by 3 other "new comers". Sherri, Aloysius and Nicole. Basically, Sherri is Wai Kuan's friend, while Aloysius is my uncle's friend, and Nicole is my long lost primary school friend. Great huh? Really had fun playing pool with them. Eh! IF YOU GUYS ARE READING THIS, WANNA PLAY POOL SOME OTHER DAY?

Yeah.

Whoah. Blogging at school. Had a hectic week! The presentation on Friday was a total disaster. We came well prepared, but our group interpreted the question wrongly, and thus we screwed the thing up. Ah well. The chalet on Friday was alright. We were somehow different this time round. We didn't do the things we were supposed to do during our chalet, like basketball, boom or whatever. We just, slacked around? Guess age really counts. Merlyn and her sisters came! Lol. The time when she and her sisters came was the best. We played like monkeys. There was this weird contraption at the playground. This circular thingy. Anyway, I said on this thingy and they spun me around. Due to lack of friction or whatever, I flew off and hit my head on the bicycle! I managed to survive with a minor concussion, but whatever. Had a lot of alcohol too. 1/2 a bottle of Chivas Regal and quite a lot of beer. Bleh. Enough blogging in school. Gotta go.

Had a wonderful time at the beach yesterday. It's one of those memorable moments, the ones that you will look back and smile, the one that will make you want to really go back in time to re-experience it. The time I had in 4E4 really seems like a different world compared to 1L05. Everyone seemed simpler and happier. No projects and never give any thought to studies. I really wanna go back in time to re-experience it all : The laughter, the joy, the heartaches and all the nonsense. All my possessions for a moment of time. It's kind of funny how men learn to treasure things. You will only learn that something is precious only after it is forever out of your grasp. It may sound corny, but it's really true. To quote Mr Justin Toh, " You will miss the life here after you leave this school." Guess what Mr Toh? You nailed my feelings with that sentence!

We visited the "dirty" side of Geylang yesterday too. The trip was really an eye-opener. The sickening glean in the eyes of the men, the jaded, painful glance of the girls, it's really saddening. To think some people actually glorify the visiting of such places. It hurts me a lot to see the ladies like that. To be used as, what? Tools? What circumstances forced these ladies to do all that? Poverty? A broken life? It's a really helpless situation there. You can't do nuts, and they can't do jack. What a place!

http://members.lycos.co.uk/mathunt/dissertation.html

Wow. This guy wrote a paper about the vulgarity "cunt"! He's my hero.

Just came back home from the cinema. I watched Star Wars! After countless delays and hesitations, I finally watched that movie. It's not because I hate Star Wars. On the contary, I love it. But I can't find people to watch that movie with me. Well, my kid brother came to my rescue. He's a good movie partner anyway, he don't talk that much.

Secondly, a saLUEte to Ke Siang's blog. It's a really great read for nearly 2 years and sadly, due to some unforseen circumstances, the blog has to close down. The blog will be missed. A minute of silence to a great blog.






My minute is up. Yeah. So I'm gonna meet up with Joanna later, and the 4E4ians on Friday, and celebrate ZH and Bettys' birthday on Saturday, and celebrate my brother's birthday on Sunday. Talk about a hectic week. Gotta bathe soon. My leg starting to give off a weird odour. Nites.

Finally got the chance to blog again! This week was a total roller coaster ride. My brother joined the Army! It's a mixed feeling; on one hand, you are kind of proud that your brother entered the Army, but on the other hand, you can't see your brother for a few months. My brothers are really close to me. I guess that after sharing the room with your brothers for 17 years, you will sort of get really close to them. Just hope that he's well right now. Another thing is, his joining of the Army sort of reminds you that it will be your turn soon! I not really enthusiastic about joining the Army. Everyone looks at your as if you are a total freak of nature and they don't sit close to you when you get into a bus. Hey! I'm giving 2 years of my life to defend people like you? Learn to be more grateful!

Did a long presentation on Friday. The feeling when you talked to the class was awesome! You can throw questions like "X, what's the Wild Animals and Birds Act all about?" Guess I really start to like this course. It's challenging, and there are a lot of people in this course that really rocks. Reading statutes is a pain in the ass though. All the terms and interpretations are getting onto my nerves. But I guess that's the downside to this course. As the saying goes, life isn't a bed of roses.

Went out with ZH, Van, Randy, PC and Hiap Seng today. We went to KBOX? The price remains the same, but they decreased the time limit. They gave us a excuse, saying that weekends have more people and we need to make space to the people coming on the evening. Guess that sort of make sense, even though that sucked. Sang various songs. Van was very excited I guess. She kept shouted. That's Van for you. It's a long time since I last went out with them! Really had a lot to catch up with them. Told them everything under the sun. We left at 6.30.

ZH had to attend his own party so he left early. The rest of the gang went to Century Square's Malay food court to have some food. Didn't bring enough cash, so I borrowed from my walking ATM machine, Vanessa Tan Guan Hui! If you guys need cash, remember to call her ok? Had some curry chicken with rice. The lady gave me too much curry. The amount given to me was like those given to a family of 4. Emily came to meet us. Talked about life, the universe and everything again. We overstayed our welcome at the food court, so we went to Van's house. The area below her house anyway. We found a fitness area and we sat there. Talked about everything again. It's a long time since we last had such a good chat. Makes me miss my class! Near the end of the conversation, Van left. Hmm. Her mother called her I guess. The rest of us sort of reminded each other of the antics and insanity our class had. Like the hole in the ceiling, and the Fight Club. Opps. The first rule is never to talk about the Fight Club.

Went to the interchange after that. Pin Chen went home himself, and Emily took her bus home. Sorry! Can't send you back home. My mum's nagging too. Me and C1 went home after that.

Hmm. Had a major upgrade of my "output" process of my computers! Bought a new printer and a new LCD monitor? Thanks dad for the cash! I can finally have something printed out in colour after sooo long! Guess how old is my old printer? It's 10 years old! 1 bloody decade! HP bubble jet or something. Monochrome too. God.

Lessons are starting to get more interesting! Had some mock Client to Paralegal exercises. It's fun, but the tension is insane. 1 wrong word and that's it. But that's what makes it even more fun! You gotta watch your words and such. Love it.

My classmates are getting friendly, and I think I might just shed the first impressions I had of them. Shih Ying and I are starting to talk. Not Shi Ying but Shih Ying. There's 2 SYs in my class. Hope the class gets closer and all the damn politics end!

Hmm. I used to think that the Legal profession is all about scamming poor old men and women of their hard earnt money. I mean, 500 bucks for each legal letter? But I got to see the flip side of this profession. Apparently, the Legal profession, together with the Medical profession, are called "Noble professions" as they ease hurt. I quote "Getting a legal letter telling you that you will be declared bankrupt or a letter saying that you have to attend court is similar to a doctor telling you that you had contracted cancer on your left breast." Hmm. So, in essence, a lawyer must learn to ease the soul of the client. Sounds idealistic, but hey! Everyone gotta delude themselves sometimes! Heard that from Mr Ferlin. Got a jolt of motivation when I heard that.

Gotta go fix my damn monitor! Take care!

Whoah. Long time didn't blog. Had a tough time finding time to blog as my brother's always at home and I can't type anything private! Bleh. He's sleeping now so. Hm. School's is getting really fun these days. Had Computer Systems and Applications yesterday? The person is telling us all about the Internet and the World Wide Web. Bleh. Full of crap. Had a 1 hour break after that. Discussed about politics? Saw something really bleak. Won't type out what that is. Went to the cyber center to print stuff? Saw Da Hong! Hello!

Went to the Legal Systems and Methods class after that. Had to say something about yourself that no one knew? So I said something about South Park and Jesus.....LOL! The class may be open with their sexuality, but no one sure can take the "incest is the best, put your sister to the test"! Joke. LUE, I'm really sorry! Had a discussion about morality and legality there. And about contractual laws and whatever. Drew a point form thingy about Marriage and Sex? Shi Ying and Shi Ying(There's 2 Shi Ying in my class!) We knew more about getting screwed then getting married! Lol. There's no Law lab the day before so we went to have some fun.

Had a conversation with Sharyl on the way? Didn't knew there was something wrong till she mentioned it. Sorry Sharyl! Took the bus to Century Square. Shi Ying, Debby and Sharyl bought this mini Connetto or whatever it is. Its the size of my index finger! Apparently the girls found it cute. Went to KFC again! Ordered drinks with the stupid accent again. We pronounced the word "Salad" into "Serlard!" and Mud accidentally pronounced the word "Lemon Tea" into "Leemorn Ji!" It's damn funny! The cashier was grinning away:P Went back to our sits and took some photos with the gang! Did the retarded and stupid look again :) We went to Challenger to have a look on the thumbdrive which we were supposed to have. Too bad I am not getting 1. Why bother? The gang left me and Shi Ying as Shi Ying had swimming practice. We went to the library after that? We were acting like complete idiots! Went we saw Mr Nathan and his wife's photos, we bowed down in their direction! Went around laughing like mad men. We found a table and we wanted to do our Management homework but in the end, we didn't. We started to talk cock like inventing math questions! I started to teach her how to be a true blue bitch:P Haha! Really had fun. Left at 5.30. I reached home and I slacked. Wow. The end of a long day!

Woo. Back from school. Just finished my Latin homework? They want us to know Latin! Lol. Actually it's fun la. Screwing around with a dead language. What Obiter Dicta, Ratio Decidendi, whatever.

Had Legal Communication skills today? Ferlin was like Mr Shahril! He's damn sacarstic! But he's also damn funny! Gotta cut my hair soon. Ferlin's nagging at me. Ah well. Had to explain words like consume and consummate, Session and section and whatever. Double headers and unrelations. Crap. Gotta go have some chow!

School started yesterday. I didn't knew there wasn't any labs so I went there early! What a good waste of 2 hours. Had economics? The lecturer kept rambling about things like PPF and capital. Quite interesting anyway. I finally managed to get some of my classmates' phone numbers! Went to buy the lecture notes after the lecture? Took a bus to TM to find Mud's duck:P We walked around and we found no duck? Had dinner at CS. Walked around to find the duck again, but the duck didn't like us, so no duck. Went home with Shi Ying after that. *TOOK THE BUS WITH SHI YING* Later we are meeting again for KBOXing! Woo!

Just back from my third Ubin trip! I think I can really become the Village Chief at this rate. Hmm. Went to dye my hair in the morning? I told her I wanted the color I had last time, which was light brown. But the god damn hairdresser made it look like black. Sucky. So now I have some blackish brownish hair. Hey. That's like my old hair color! Ahh well.

Went to meet up with my homies at Changi? Had some chicken rice. Yummy:P We then queued up for the ferry ticket. The queue was actually damn long due to today being Buddha's Birthday/Enlightenment Day/Deathday! Happy birthday Buddha! Back to the topic. Took the ferry to Ubin. Went to rent a bike? The bike was damn sucky. The chains were rattling and the suspension was damaged! But nvm. Give chance to the aunty. Went biking around the damn island again. Had a great time! Visited the Thai Temple? Lol. My mum went "MIA" so I had to re-trace the route and go over more hills! Tough work!

Went to bowl after that. I finally perfected(At least what I think la!) my throw! Now my throw is accurate, but my throw still doesn't has any strength. Gotta train more! Had 3 games? My first 2 games suck because I still can't throw well. On the third game, Buddha decided to bless me on his birthday and so I suddenly perfected my throw! I was winning the game when this chio bu arrived. I lost my concentration instantaneously, and all i did was look at that chick. My uncle Johann did that too! We were supposed to win the game, but due to that chick, we lost. Damn. Nvm. Who can blame you for being pretty? Went home after that.

School's starting. Damn. It's really ironical. 4 months ago, I was positively dying from the "nuaing" and wished for school to start. Now, 4 months later, I am praying that the minutes don't slip past my fingers. It's really weird. You wished for it, and now it came true, and you don't like it. Weird! Maybe it's because I don't really know my classmates? I really hope I can get along with them. They are, well, different from the 4E4ians. Our class feels more, alive then 1L05, with Zikry, Zhen Hao and Vann around. Maybe there might be another loudmouth in 1L05. Maybe.

Blogging on borrowed tyme! So I must be quick! The dance rocks yesterday. It was more like clubbing actually, with groovy music for you to groove to? Danced with Mel, Wen Ting, Beth, ZH, Zul, Henna(Mel's friend), and Henna's friend whose name I forgotten. Hmm. Went around dancing? I served this fat girl! HAHA! She was dancing there when I went over to SERVE HER! HAHAH! For those who dunno what's the meaning of being SERVED, watch South Park ok? Need to go.

Opps. Didn't blog for a long tyme. My god damned server crashed on Saturday, and in the process of repairing it, my brother doomed my computer to another series of full format. Guess good things happen in pairs huh?

Went to the orientation today. The orientation was supposed to end at the evening but due to me chao kenging, I told the SL that I wanna go for a heart checkup. Well. The checkup was over 2 weeks ago, but hey! Half truth ok? The orientation, in short, was damn boring. The peeps over there were trying to coax us to cheer? Trying to make us shout shit like "business SUD SUD OI" or whatever. Hey! I came to learn more about the school, not to cheer for shit ok? Take your shit somewhere else holmes. As I always said, if you are doing shit, you are shit. Easy.

My classmates are generally ok. Except for some who Harvi Norman style. Ler eh eng boon boh hoh mai geh kiang qing cai kong la! Some tries to force the "Mr DJ" voice which totally sucked. Luckily there were some who at least converse in Mandarin. Jesus blessed me once more! Hmm. Met a few cute/chio girls? Damn cute siaz. Are you gonna be my girl? Lol! Ok. Tyme to go off. Rock on law5.

http://feeds.bignewsnetwork.com/redir.php?jid=81498cbebc5dfae5&cat=e0d1de21f4c15d6e

CHARLESTON, W.Va. -- Jesus Christ is hoping to move to West Virginia, but he's having trouble getting a driver's license.The man is described as a white-haired businessman who's been using that name for 15 years without a problem. He has a U.S. passport, Social Security card and Washington driver's license -- all bearing the name Jesus Christ.But he still falls short of West Virginia title and license requirements, since his Florida birth certificate bears his original name. The man born as Peter Robert Phillips Jr. still hasn't had an official name change approved in Washington. A District of Columbia judge denied the legal change two years ago, saying the name could provoke "a violent reaction" or "significantly" offend people. An appeals court ruling last month, however, will start that process anew.Christ's attorney says the name change was an effort to express his faith.

JESUS CAN'T DRIVE!?

Went out with ZH, Pin Chen, Van, Betty, XX, and Kimo today! Really nice trip! Cos we saw an Einstein(His hair really looked like Einstein!) Elvis(His hairstyle also looked like Elvis) and Elvis wife, who was stucked in a cubicle! LOL! EW was pratically ramming the door. Lol. Took a lot of photos too! See my friendster for more details. K. Tired.

Finally changed my blog skin again. Thanks to Mr Bill Waterson for creating the comic Calvin And Hobbes! Rock on!

Damn. Heard that Jeslyn is calling herself EMILY now? My life came tumbling down when I heard that. You can call yourself Fiona, Jesus, Magdeline, Charmaine, Christina, Alice, but of all the names, you called yourself Emily. God must really have a twisted and different sense of humour. Hey. If you read this, you are not worthy of that name ok?

Today is Kim0's birthday! Happy birthday homie! 1 more year before legalised fun! Sustain ok?

School's starting in 2 weeks. The feeling is really mixed! On 1 hand, I really wanna go to school and start learning(You believe me?), but on the flip side, I really wanna stay at home and continue my quest of Discovering on the Discovery Channel. In a dilenma now!

Might dye my hair again? Wanna make it light brown or something. Something more natural and not attention grabbing like the red/pink I had last time. Wanna start preparing for life in Temasek Polytechnic!

4E4 rocks my socks!

*posted this in the wrong blog*

Just watched Chicken Run. Had chicken chop when watching? Lol. Guilty feelings! =P BTW. Happy Bday Ivy. Even tho late 1 day or something.

Yay! Just came back from Pulau Ubin! Really nice trip!



Saw this weird fire truck thingy on the road. Hmm. Never seen 1 below. Sorry arh. WOLS.



My Pai Kia brother on the car with me! The shades belongs to my Dad. Bloody olde School specs.

Went to the gathering place. Saw my cousins over there! Started using the term "BOH BEH ZHAO!" Haha. Pissed all of them off to no end. Took a ferry to Ubin? Uneventful trip. Keep telling my cousins and bro there we are Chinese escaping the Emperor Pu Yi. Lol. Rented some bikes? My cousin and I used the double bike thingy. Lol. She sat behind me and she sang some weird songs? Lol. Hard to peddle when only 1 is cycling and another's singing. But nvm. Boh beh zhao. Went to the western end of the isle. (You know why I know it's the west? I used the map reading skills Ah Ber taught me! Thanks Ber!) Had to cycle up hills of height 10Ms. (Once again, map reading!) Reached a cemetery. The peeps were not keen to continue so...we turned back! On the way back, it started to rain! Went to the village elder's home. Friendly chap. He has a really nice dog!



Nice dog! Here's our bikes! Olde school monochrome style!



Yup. Waited for the rain to end. Took about an hour. Started cycling back to the kiosk. Returned the bikes to the lady? Hmm. Went to a seafood restaurant to have, well, seafood. The prawns were really great! Had 2. Lazy to peel arh. Then we were talking about our favourite food and me and the cousin(the one whom rode with me!) high fived each other! But sadly she "MISS CUE" and she managed to overturn the bottle of Tiger which me, my father and her dad were enjoying. Lol. NVM! I forgive you! HAHA! Ate till 7 o clock? Took the ferry back.



THE BOH BEH ZHAOers!

With us were 2 Americans! They were really friendly! Took photos with them using their cam. Lol. Seems that they never seen a family gathering before. Lol. Went home after that!