I've learned a valuable lesson from these 3 weeks. Nothing can bring back the feelings. Nothing. I was truely the fool. Aren't we all? When the truth is right smack in front of your face, and yet, somehow, you will never see it.

I still remember that day, one year ago. It was magical. Soon after the O levels. We went to CHJIMES. Sat at the well, telling stories. I'd long forgotten what she had told me, but there was this one thing I will always remember. I caught her gaze, and stared right into the darkness of her pupils. Eternity stared back. In that one moment, I was lost in the cosmos in her eyes. I would give everything now, to have that moment back. To be like a kid in love.

Those times really rocked I guess. I would wake up and smile to myself, and think "gee, what will happen today?", unlike now. These few weeks were really a torture. The feeling of being tied down. The feeling of dread. Every waking hour, I get these feelings.

The fault lies in me. But guess what? I like being in fault.

The Dummies Guide For Friendster Singaporean Girls Classification

Let's face it; friendster (http://www.friendster.com) is a labyrinth. There is a myriad of different people inside, each with their own quirks. Today, let KJ teach you all the basics of classifying the girls you find in Friendster!

Just a few pointers to note.

a) Girls in friendster are seldom 18 and above. Often, they are minors. No sex for you all busters.

b)Pictures may speak a thousand words, but those words are lies. The super HAWT chick you stumble upon may just be another JCEX. Guess what JCEX is. Ask Mr Pin Chen or Busted boy if you wanna know.

c)The profiles are coated with honey. The girl may claim that she speak French, Deutch and Japanese, but often, they use translators. Just like JCEX.

Ok. With the pointers out of the way, now lets go into the main points of this blog post! The classifications of singaporean girls!

There are 1 sub type/s of SG girls found in Friendster. They are a)Acttcuttetessw0rx. Further research on the other subtypes are taking place now, thanks to the courtesy of Jie Jun, our chief researcher/editor.

A)Acttcuttetessworx. Never seen them in Friendster before? Go check JCEX's friendster account and you will see a prime example! A sample of their profile reads something like this:

Miee ishh a f0urrteenn yearrs 0ldd gurrl wh00 l0rbbe t00
[X]l000kk att starrxx[X]
[X]surff fwendsterr[X]
[X]euu[X]

As you can see, one of the main characteristics of A type girls in Friendster is they typpe liekk disshh. I swear to you all, it takes 1 bloody company of Code Breakers in the M16 intelligence unit to break that bloody code. But yet they persist.

Another characteristic of A) type girls is their 1337 photography skillz. They will take photos like this:



As beautifully illustrated by the Chief Illustrator Kiat Jun, this illustration shows how A) type girls take photos. Their camera, usually a phone camera, is tilted in such a degree that the photo shows the HUMONGOUS eyes of the girl. And what's more, often, they fill their mouths with air so that their cheeks are bloated up, like some kind of pufferfish. Like this.

Illustration not realistic so as not to resemble any person, living or dead.

The reason for making themselves look like modern Medusas is yet unknown. Our chief researcher, Jie Jun, thinks that it might be ingrained in their genes. The author KJ has enlisted help from various experts like Zhen "Busted Boy" Hao and Pin "Chenster"Chen for help. The results will be out in the next issue of Dummies Guide. Thank you.

Been playing this puzzle game introduced by Zhen Hao yesterday. Fun. There's like 60+ levels, and each of them contains a puzzle of some sort. Went to level 29 yesterday. The game is quite easy at this point. Except level 20.

You know what level 20 is about? ITS ABOUT MATH! @$#%#@! They gave me some fraction stuff to solve. And those in 4E4 will know that I know nuts about math. So I had to spend 1 bloody hour on 1 simple sum. Great Einstein.

You Are an Emo Rocker!

Expressive and deep, lyrics are really your thing. That doesn't mean you don't rock out... You just rock out with meaning. For you, rock is more about connecting than grandstanding.

What Kind of Rocker Are You?

Your Birthdate: July 31

Your birthday suggests that you are a good organizer and manager, an energetic and dependable worker; attributes often showing success in the business world. Serious and sincere, you have the patience and determination necessary to accomplish a great deal. Your approach can be original, but often rigid and stubborn. Sensitivity may be present, but feeling are likely to be repressed. You are good with detail and insist on accuracy, but at times scatter energies. You're a practical thinker, but not without imagination. You love travel and don't like to live alone. You should probably marry early, for responsibility is necessary for your stability.

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

WTF?! I should probably marry early? Oh Christ.

The first week of the hols is over. State of mind : Ennui. Damn boring at home la!

God! Einstein has proven that Jeslyn is ugly! It will now be accepted as a universal truth! All hail Einstein!

Nowadays, Toys R Us seem to hold a certain allure on me!

Like this picture. The manofnoregrets with the golden gun! Just like Mr Bond! If only I can have the hot babes Bond always seem to have too......









Someday, KJ is going to be the next Jimi Hendrix! Look at the style! The allure! The passion!












But even SuperStars need have sunglasses to look cool! Note the difference between Ah Chen and me! Who's cooler? KJ right!?












Ready for battle anytime! Just like Gimli! But I taller then Gimli ok!? I not dwarf!













The gheyness is apparent in this photo.













I ain't much better either......

It's September 11. Man. Hard to believe that 4 years ago, 2 planes hit America. How time flies. The people of America lost their sons, fathers, daughters and whatever for 4 years. And Bush is sending more sons and fathers and daughters and mothers to fight some bloody bullshit war. Amen brudda.

So, exams are over. Besides the catastrophic CSA exam, the rest was easy. Law was average. Gerrard was the man. Left the room in 1 hour. And I thought I could blaze the way for my fellow students. So much for my happy ending.

1 semester in Poly is over in a flash? What the fck. I just barely started to like my class and snap! Time for a new class! But I guess Law is lucky. We have 150 sad souls in the course, and I guess we 150 really can bond together or something.

When I first entered Law, I was like, "Shit!" WTF and I, KJ the LawBane, inside Law? But Fate raised her cruel head and shoved my inside. Great. So I entered the course with an empty mind but a couragous heart. And my courage nearly failed. Everyone was like, good English speakers and they seem to fcking know everything about the Law, including CJ's wife? And here I am, KJ the LawBane, mixing around with them. I thought the people inside were posers. They sounded artificial, not like good ole' 4E4. They all came from some top schools or something, and there was KJ, from Tampines Sec. Great. The underdog.

But then, after some time, you could sort of see that everyone was just like you in a way? They were all trying to carve out their own destiny from this helluva course called Law and Management, and many, contary to my belief, are not muggers? In fact, 1L05 is just like 4E4, we are a bunch of slackers, trying to float our own boats. And they ain't no Englishmen either. Some of us barely speak proper English! And I have great friends like Ah Pek Mud, Shi "Red" Ying, Vickie, Sheena and gang. We are plain Joes and Janes. And Law is not the mystical subject I thought it would be. I'm so glad I'm in Law. This course totally changed my perspective in life.

And this is only the first semester.

Exams are almost over! Final paper later! Law! Then it will be milk and honey for 9 months! Song boh JC people?

The first paper was CSA. Not for me anyway. Because I didn't fcking attend the paper. That's right. KJ did not fcking attend the paper. I thought it was 11.30! BUT NOOO! The time 9.30 did not register into my mind, and only 11.30 was scribed into my brain. And so KJ went to school at 11.30.

*calls Shi Ying*

SY: Eh? Why you today never go exam?
KJ: Huh? Not 11.30?
SY: No la! 9.30!

At first I thought it was a terrible joke. Scared the living jesus out of me. I asked again, but NOOO! It's really 11.30! Now imagine this. Picture this in your mind. The subject you could have aced, but because of some phantom numbers dancing in your mind, you missed it. Amen.

So poor KJ had to travel to the Polyclinic. Where all the diseased people gathers. And KJ had to think of some disease. KJ waited for another half hour before the bloody doctor attended to me.

Doc: So what happened to you?
KJ: Stomache ache.....(piteous tone)
Doc: Ok lie down on the bed. Let me inspect you.
KJ: Sure doc...
Doc: *Starts to knock everywhere on my stomache
Doc: Where pain?

At this moment, a flashback happened! I sort of thought back to Mr Hafiz's lesson on where the intestine is.....

KJ: Erh....here!
Doc: Oooo! What did you eat yesterday?

Flashback to yesterday again. Beer plus some fish stuff.

KJ: Erh...Nor Hiong Heh Pia!
Doc: OOO! You got stomache flu or something!
KJ: I guess so......
Doc: Here is your MC!

The fcken doc told me something about the Polyclinic procedure of MC being standardised. Important point to note. I believed that fucker. I paid my money and went to Expo to study. Hoever, Fate raised her cruel head once more, inflicting me with more trouble. KJ called Phillis Chong, his CSA teacher. She told her the school needs the exemption shit! OH MY GOD OH NOES! Then, KJ had to spend another 12 fucking bucks on another MC, this time with success. God. I hate doctors. And they said that lawyers lie. It's the damn doctors that lie!

Thus ended 1 day of exams. Cool shit huh.