This week is Jesus's birthday week and I shall drink alcohol everyday as He, in his infinite wisdom, turned water into wine. I believe that He, in his Divine Wisdom, truly understood the benefits of getting roaring drunk and getting a terrible hangover.

Also, didn't the Lord himself valued truth and other virtues among all others, when in He proclaimed that Thou Shalt not Lie? And didn't the wise sages from China, the shamans from the wilds of America, the bomohs of Malaysia and the witch doctors of Africa, claim that a person inebriated speaks the truth?

(Disclaimer: The blog author intentionally left out certain classes of wise people due to his inability to name them, and his laziness to do a Google search. The blog author wishes to emphasise the fact that the abovementioned inability in no way reflects on his disrespect for the omitted wise classes of people.)

I hope that I convinced the heathens/pagans/atheists/agnostics/free-thinkers/secular humanists/Burn in hell'ers/whatever His followers call non-believers these days the truth serum that God, in his wisdom, gave to His creations.

So therefore, I shall list down the alcohol I consumed this week in His name.

Monday) 2 big glasses of skittles vodka
Tuesday) One can of beer
Wedneday) I bottle of Chardonnay

Halelujah guys!

Ok, as of today, I shall go on a diet!

Not those eat veggies and fruits only diet!

I SHALL EAT 1 1/2 of my usual proportions!

Normally I don't do advertisements on my blog but this is seriously an exception

http://kj-shine.blogspot.com/

Disclaimer: The author of this blog in no way knows the author of the abovementioned blog.

I HAVE TO DO THIS BECAUSE SHE SHARES MY INITIALS!

The head bobble or head wobble refers to a common gesture found in South Asian cultures, most notably in India. This form of nonverbal communication is sometimes referred to as "Indian head shake" or as travel journalist Stephan Wilkinson has described it, "a vague cock of the head." The motion usually consists of a side-to-side tilting of the head in arcs along the coronal plane.

The meaning of the bobble is myriad but is usually in response to another individual's request or comment. It usually signifies an acknowledgment of something or a sign of enjoying something immensely (usually accompanied with a wide eyed look). Other meanings it could have include:

"You're welcome," or "of course"
"Goodbye"
"I don't know" or a shrug. Usually accompanied with hands turned up and a shoulder shrug.
"Ok Ok"
"I'm giving you the answer I think you want to hear"
"I hear the words that are coming out of your mouth"
"I really want the answer to be yes..."
In Western countries, "Yes, definitely!" is communicated by nodding the head multiple times. In South Asia, it is communicated by a single strong head-wobble.

It has been said the origins of the head wobble come from watching snake charmers with cobras. Snake charmers play their music largely for dramatic effect, and it is in fact the movement of their head that mesmerizes the snake. When the cobra is not going to strike, it will sway its head from side to side. This body language signifies 'I am of no threat to you', and is a simple gesture to draw someone into your confidence, similar baring one's teeth in a smile.


NEH NEH NEH

I shall take a break from fabricating stories for my SIP report and start reporting on the truth as dictated by Eugene Yee Ming Han

Name: Kwek Kiat Jun
Birthdate: 31st July 1988 <---PRESENTS PLEASE THANKS
Current Status: Attached!
Eye Colour: Technically it's brown!
Hair Colour: Technically it's brown too
Righty or Lefty: Ambi

[Layer Two: On the inside]
Your Heritage: I am a half Malaysian k!
Your Fears: mm.. I hate butterflies
Your Weakness: careless, blur so on~ <---SAME! THATS WHY
Your Prefect Pizza: I like the Mexican Fiesta thingy

[Layer Three: Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow]
Your First Thought This Morning: KNN, must do report
Your Last Thought Before Bedtime: KNN, must wake up at 3 to do report and tutorial CCB
Your Most Missed Memories: Secondary School days <---SAME

[Layer Four: Your Pick]
Pepsi or Coke: Coke! Pepsi is too sweet and not very gassy which is not very good
MacDonald or Burger King: Burger King has Hershey's Sundae Pie
Single or Group Dates: Single, then group!
Adidas or Nike: Converse <---Must wear emo shoes right eugene
Tea or Nestea: Teh alyia
Chocolate or Vanilla: Chocolate
Cappuccino or Coffee: Mocha is a subset of coffee rightttt

[Layer Five: Do You...]
Smoke:at least 4 sticks of gudang garam reds a day
Curse: take a look above
Take Showers: OF COURSE LA NOT LIKE JOSEPH THE SMELLY SINGH
Have a crush: Attached
Think you are in love: Ask your mother arh

[Layer Six: In the Past Month]
Drank alcohol: 2 hours ago
Gone to the mall: Erh yup
Been on stage: Yup
Eaten sushi: Yup
Dyed your hair: Nope

[Layer Seven: Have You Ever...]
Played a stripping game: Eh good idea arh
Changed who you were to fit in: No need la, I am loved by everyone k

[Layer Eight: Age]
You are hoping to get married at the age of: 28 sua

[Layer Nine: In a Girl/Guy]
Best Eye Colour: Black
Best Hair Colour: Black
Short Hair or Long Hair: Afro like a nigaress

[Layer Ten: What Were You Doing]
1 Min Ago: Typing out this survey!
1 Hour Ago: DOING MY STUPID SIP REPORT
4.5 Hour Ago: Asleep
1 Month Ago: SIP!
1 Year Ago: Should be at reservoir or what

[Layer Eleven: Finish the Sentence]
I Love: Vickie Tan Lin Yin

[Layer Twelve: Tag five people]
1. KJ..<---EH I DO OK
2. Shep
3. Markoos
4. EVERYONE LA DEY DEY DEY

Fuck the only reasons I go to school these days is because of:

Mario Kart

Tan Lin Yin Vickie

Reservoir

The Rest of the People

In no particular order

and the stupid report is still stuck at Findings for 2 weeks! I NEED MOTIVATION!

And I realised my previous posts' emoness can be compared to Lim Teck Wee the paper bag boy

Beng

don't assume others want the same as you

A month since I last posted

But this is an important date for all of us in Law

SIP for only 2 more weeks

Yay!

I can't believe we actually lasted for so long

and time flies by so fast; I can actually hear it whoosh

And yesterday was sort of a closure for us in TPSS 4E4 2004; the old building is to be torn down, and so we went back for a final goodbye

We went back and we utterly destroyed our old classroom

and talked about the good old days

where I'm ragboy

It's easier actually

I must really thank my esteemed friends Prince Chivas, Sir Baileys, Viceroy of British American Tobacco and his pet crustacean for gracing my humble abode today.

I must really impress on my dear readers that they are the best friends you can ever have - they provide a listening ear for those who wish to voice their sorrows, wise advice for those in dire need, and a salve that mend your very soul. And they are the best secret keepers; they will not utter a single word if you do not allow them to.

But I must also express my regret that Ms. Mary Jane could not be present today. She seldom visits the city state of Singapore, and if does, the condition she arrive in makes her no longer welcome for most who desire her.

Once again, thank you my friends, for keeping me company today. Rock on.

Apparently most people don't get socratic irony.

Ok for those who still don't know, Socrates once pretended to be a fool to expose another fool in his lecture.

So the indirect moral of the story is that don't judge the book by its cover la!

Dey!

KNN I darn dulan now!

It seems to me that I'm the only one putting in the effort

Why can't I sleep!

AHHH!

WHYYYYYYYY!

*Whine like Austin*

Ok done!

SIP stinks! Ok, not the job scope; I'm starting to love what I'm doing. Reading up on cases on competition law, and then summarising then for the bosswoman! Pretty fun area of law if you ask me! AND ALL MY BUSINESS IDEAS ARE GOING DOWN THE DRAIN!

I WANT TO START A CARTEL! AND BULLY OTHER BUSINESSES INTO FOLLOWING MY PRICES! AND MY REGULATIONS!

I WANTED TO BE THE KINGPIN IN BUSINESS!

Ok my latent teochew instincts are all coming up!

To the people who will be SIPing tomorrow! Brought to you by the people from Drew and Napier LLC not including Wine and Teck Wee!

ENJOY !

Her name was Mrs. Thompson. As she stood in front of her 5th grade class
on the very first day of school, she told the children a lie. Like most
teachers, she looked at her students and said that she loved them all the
same. But that was impossible, because there in the front row, slumped in
his seat, was a little boy named Teddy Stoddard.

Mrs. Thompson had watched Teddy the year before and noticed that he didn't
play well with the other children, that his clothes were messy and that he
constantly needed a bath. And Teddy could be unpleasant. It got to the
point where Mrs. Thompson would actually take delight in marking his papers
with a broad red pen, making bold X's and then putting a big "F" at the top
of his papers.

At the school where Mrs. Thompson taught, she was required to review each
child's past records and she put Teddy's off until last. However, when she
reviewed his file, she was in for a surprise.

Teddy's first grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is a bright child with a ready
laugh. He does his work neatly and has good manners...he is a joy to be
around."

His second grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is an excellent student, well-liked
by his classmates, but he is troubled because his mother has a terminal
illness and life at home must be a struggle."

His third grade teacher wrote, "His mother's death had been hard on him.
He tries to do his best, but his father doesn't show much interest and his
home life will soon affect him if some steps aren't taken."

Teddy's fourth grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is withdrawn and doesn't show
much interest in school. He doesn't have many friends and he sometimes
sleeps in class".

By now, Mrs. Thompson realized the problem and she was ashamed of herself.
She felt even worse when her students brought her Christmas presents,
wrapped in beautiful ribbons and bright paper, except for Teddy's.
His present was clumsily wrapped in the heavy, brown paper that he got from
a grocery bag. Mrs. Thompson took pains to open it in the middle of the
other presents. Some of the children started to laugh when she found a
rhinestone bracelet with some of the stones missing, and a bottle that was
one quarter full of perfume. But she stifled the children's laughter when
she exclaimed how pretty the bracelet was, putting it on, and dabbing some
of the perfume on her wrist.

Teddy Stoddard stayed after school that day just long enough to say, "Mrs.
Thompson, today you smelled just like my Mom used to."

After the children left she cried for at least an hour. On that very day,
she quit teaching reading, and writing, and arithmetic. Instead, she began
to teach children.

Mrs. Thompson paid particular attention to Teddy. As she worked with him,
his mind seemed to come alive. The more she encouraged him, the faster he
responded. By the end of the year, Teddy had become one of the smartest
children in the class and, despite her lie that she would love all the
children the same, Teddy became one of her "teacher's pets."
A year later, she found a note under her door, from Teddy, telling her that
she was still the best teacher he ever had in his whole life.

Six years went by before she got another note from Teddy. He then wrote
that he had finished high school, third in his class, and she was still the
best teacher he ever had in his whole life.

Four years after that, she got another letter, saying that while things had
been tough at times, he'd stayed in school, had stuck with it, and would
soon graduate from college with the highest of honors. He assured Mrs.
Thompson that she was still the best and favorite teacher he ever had in
his whole life.

Then four more years passed and yet another letter came. This time he
explained that after he got his bachelor's degree, he decided to go a little
further. The letter explained that she was still the best and favorite
teacher he ever had. But now his name was a little longer - the letter was
signed, Theodore F. Stoddard, MD.

The story doesn't end there. You see, there was yet another letter that
spring. Teddy said he'd met this girl and was going to be married.
He explained that his father had died a couple of years ago and he was
wondering if Mrs. Thompson might agree to sit in the place at the wedding
that was usually reserved for the mother of the groom. Of course, Mrs.
Thompson did.

And guess what? She wore that bracelet, the one with several rhinestones
missing. And she made sure she was wearing the perfume that Teddy
remembered his mother wearing on their last Christmas together. They hugged
each other, and Dr. Stoddard whispered in Mrs. Thompson's ear, "Thank you
Mrs. Thompson for believing in me. Thank you so much for making me feel
important and showing me that I could make a difference."

Mrs. Thompson, with tears in her eyes, whispered back. She said, "Teddy,
you have it all wrong. You were the one who taught me that I could make a
difference. I didn't know how to teach until I met you."

I MUST STOP READING INSPIRING STORIES OR I MIGHT JUST STOP BEING LAZY

Hahahah! YAY! I finally got to chat with my brother after like 10000000 million aeons! YAY YAY YAY! He wants to learn canto! So if anyone can teach me canto I will be eternally thankful to you all!

THE JIGSAW PUZZLE

by J.B.STAMPER

It was on the top shelf of an old bookcase, covered with dust and barely

visible. Lisa decided she had to find out what it was. Of all the things

in the old junk shop, it aroused her curiosity most. She had looked

through old books, prints, and postcards for years. Nothing had caught

her interest. Now the old box, high and out of reach, intrigued her.

She looked around for the old man who ran the store. But he had gone

into the back room. She saw a stepladder across the room and brought it

over to the bookcase. It shook on the uneven floorboards as she climbed

to the top step.

Lisa patted her hand along the surface of the top shelf, trying to find

the box. The dirt was thick and gritty on the board. Then she touched

the box. It was made of cardboard. The cardboard was cold and soft from

being in the damp room for such a long time. She lifted the box slowly,

trying to steady her balance on the stepladder.

As the side of the box reached her eye level, she could read the words:

500 PIECES

She sat the box down on top of the stepladder and climbed down a few

steps. Then she blew away some of the dust that had accumulated on the

lid. It billowed up around her with a musty, dead odor. But now she

could make out a few more words on top of the box:

THE STRANGEST

JIGSAW PUZZLE

IN THE WORLD

There were other words underneath that, but they had been rubbed off the

cardboard lid. The big picture on the cover had been curiously damaged.

Lisa could make out areas of light and dark. It looked as though the

scene might be in a room. But most of the picture had been scratched off

the cardboard box, probably by a sharp instrument.

The mysterious nature of the jigsaw puzzle made it even more appealing

to Lisa. She decided she would buy it. The lid was taped down securely;

that probably meant that all the pieces would be there. As she carefully

climbed down the stepladder, holding the box in both a find, just hands,

Lisa smiled to herself. It was quite the sort of thing she had always

hoped to discover whilerummaging through secondhand stores.

Mr. Tuborg, the owner of the store, came out of the back room as she was

walking up to his sales desk. He looked curiously at the box when Lisa

set it down.

"And where did you find that?" he asked her.

Lisa pointed to where she had set up the stepladder. "It was on top of

that bookcase, You could barely see it from the floor."

"Well, I've never seen it before, that's for sure," Mr.Tuborg said.

"Can't imagine how you found it."

Lisa was more pleased than ever about her find. She felt as though the

puzzle had been hiding up there, waiting for her to discover it. She

paid Mr. Tuborg the twenty-five cents he asked for the puzzle and then

wrapped it carefully in the newspapers he gave her to take it home in.

As soon as she had climbed the flight of stairs to her room, Lisa

cleaned off the big table in the center of the room. She set the box

down on it.

THE STRANGEST

JIGSAW PUZZLE

IN THE WORLD

Lisa read the words again. She wondered what they could mean. How

strange could a jigsaw puzzle be? The tape that held the lid down was

still strong. Lisa got out a kitchen knife to slice through it. When she

lifted the cover off the box, a musty smell came from inside. But the

jigsaw pieces all looked in good condition. Lisa picked one up. The

color was faded, but the picture was clear. She could see the shape of a

finger in the piece. It looked like a woman's finger. Lisa sat down and

started to lay out the pieces, top-side up, on the large table. As she

took them from the box, she sorted out the flat-edged pieces from the

inside pieces. Every so often, she would recognize something in one of

the pieces. She saw some blond hair, a windowpane, and a small vase.

There was a lot of wood texture in the pieces, plus what looked like

wallpaper. Lisa noticed that the wallpaper in the puzzle looked a lot

like the wallpaper in her own room. She wondered if her wallpaper was as

old as the jigsaw puzzle. It would be an incredible coincidence, but it

could be the same. By the time Lisa had all the pieces laid out on the

table, it was 6:30. She got up and made herself a sandwich. Already, her

back was beginning to hurt a little from leaning over the table. But she

couldn't stay away from the puzzle. She went back to the table and set

her sandwich down beside her. It was always like that when she did

jigsaws. Once she started, she couldn't stop until the puzzle was all

put together.

She began to sort out the edge pieces according to their coloring. There

were dark brown pieces, whitish pieces, the wallpaper pieces, and some

pieces that seemed to be like glass-perhaps a window. As she slowly ate

her sandwich, Lisa pieced together the border. When she was finished,

she knew she had been right about the setting of the picture when she

had first seen the puzzle. It was a room. One side of the border was

wallpaper. Lisa decided to fill that in first. She was curious about its

resemblance to her own wallpaper.

She gathered all the pieces together that had the blue and lilac

flowered design. As she fit the pieces together, it became clear that

the wallpaper in the puzzle was identical to the wallpaper in her room.

Lisa glanced back and forth between the puzzle and her wall. It was an

exact match.

By now it was 8:30. Lisa leaned back in her chair.

Her back was stiff. She looked over at her window. The night was black

outside. Lisa got up and walked over to the window. Suddenly, she felt

uneasy, alone in the apartment. She pulled the white shade over the

window.

She paced around the room once, trying to think of something else she

might do other than finish the puzzle. But nothing else interested her.

She went back and sat down at the table.

Next she started to fill iii the lower right-hand corner. There was a

rug and then a chair. This part of the puzzle was very dark. Lisa

noticed uneasily that the chair was the same shape as one sitting in the

corner of her room. But the colors didn't seem exactly the same. Her

chair was maroon. The one in the puzzle was in the shadows and seemed

almost black.

Lisa continued to fill in the border toward the middle. There was more

wallpaper to finish on top. The left-hand side did turn out to be a

window. Through it, a half moon hung in a dark sky. But it was the

bottom on the puzzle that began to bother Lisa. As the pieces fell into

place, she saw a picture of a pair of legs, crossed underneath a table.

They were the legs of a young woman. Lisa reached down and ran her hand

along one of her legs. Suddenly, she had felt as though something was

crawling up it, but it must have been her imagination.

She stared down at the puzzle. It was almost three quarters done. Only

the middle remained. Lisa glanced at the lid to the puzzle box:

THE STRANGEST

JIGSAW...

She shuddered.

Lisa leaned back in her chair again. Her back ached. Her neck muscles

were tense and strained. She thought about quitting the puzzle. It

scared her now.

She stood up and stretched. Then she looked down at the puzzle on the

table. It looked different from the higher angle. Lisa was shocked by

what she saw. Her body began to tremble all over. It was

unmistakable---the picture in the puzzle was of her own room. The window

was placed correctly in relation to the table. The bookcase stood in its

exact spot against the wall. Even the carved table legs were the

same....

Lisa raised her hand to knock the pieces of the puzzle apart. She didn't

want to finish the strangest jigsaw puzzle in the world; she didn't want

to find out what the hole in the middle of the puzzle might turn out to

be. But then she lowered her hand. Perhaps it was worse not to know.

Perhaps it was worse to wait and wonder.

Lisa sank back down into the chair at the table. She fought off the fear

that crept into the sore muscles on her back. Deliberately, piece by

piece, she began to fill in the hole in the puzzle. She put together a

picture of a table, on which lay a jigsaw puzzle. This puzzle inside the

puzzle was finished. But Lisa couldn't make out what it showed. She

pieced together the young woman who was herself. As she filled in the

picture, her own body slowly filled with horror and dread. It was all

there in the picture ... the vase filled with blue cornflowers, her red

cardigan sweater, the wild look of fear in her own face.

The jigsaw puzzle lay before her---finished except for two adjoining

pieces. They were dark pieces, ones she hadn't been able to fit into the

area of the window. Lisa looked behind her. The white blind was drawn

over her window. With relief, she realized that the puzzle picture was

not exactly like her room. It showed the black night behind the window

pane and a moon shining in the sky.

With trembling hands, Lisa reached for the second to last piece. She

dropped it into one of the empty spaces. It seemed to be half a face,

but not a human face. She reached for the last piece. She pressed it

into the small hole left in the picture.

The face was complete---the face in the window. It was more horrible

than anything she had ever seen, or dreamed. Lisa looked at the picture

of herself in the puzzle and then back to that face.

When she whirled around. The blind was no longer over her window. The

night showed black through the windowpane. A half moon hung low in the

sky.

Lisa screamed.... The face ... it was there, too.

THE END

AHHHHHHHHH

God this song still makes me feel darn happy!

IF YOU WANNA BE WITH ME!

I had The Dream yesterday.

The last time I had it was years ago.

The characters had grown up, the events had matured, but the ending was still the same.

I can still remember the dream

the events leading to it

the chase

the long rapier she held

the stab

I had always wondered

What if they didn't beg for my life,

What if that day, she was holding a rapier in real life,

Will I still be here typing this nonsense

I don't think so

And this dream had always made me cry

and today had been no exception

I need more then a carton of cigarettes

I need a hug.

Will you marry me?

It's 4.20 and I can't sleep!

The bed feels weird these few days! Like too crumpled or something!

I wish money will drop from the sky so I can get these shirts!

Ok the last 2 shirts come in black but they artists decided that making it transparent when designing in photoshop is a darn good idea! I dunno why but then again I dunno why I am still awake!

And those who protest the God is Dead shirt, and those who claim that I'm emo by wearing that shirt



This is the biggest fuck you I can show to you!

And go read some Nietzche bitches!

Oh and I realised that Alice Lew didn't give me an F for class participation! YOU ROCK LA CHER!

Hahaha there's a lot of WTF moments these few days!

Like just now! I just realised Max can cb eat a lot of hum!

And like yesterday when Halim, Vicks, me and Max had the singh talk!

And NOW THIS!

CB I WENT TO FRIENDSTER TO LOOK AROUND RIGHT, AND I SAW THOSE I AM A FAN OF WHOEVER FRIENDSTER ACCOUNT!

SO I WENT TO THE FORUM AND CB I SAW THIS TOPIC:

describe your feelings if arron ya lun is your boyfriend.

OK I DUNNO WHO THE FUCK IS ARRON YA LUN, BUT CB I READ THE COMMENTS RIGHT, KNNLCBNNBCBLJEXCERCISE EH FUNNY SIA!

LIKE THIS:

I think i will cheish every seconds of my time
with him... (:

I <33 ya ya lun...
MUACKS..

LAM PA!

my face will continue burning none stoping...
hahaha...

KAN NI NIANG!

I bth those type of people who will go and fucking zhui those idols sia! Ok la, zhui nevermind la! If Axl Rose came to Singapore I will suck his lam pa anyway, ok that's not the point, but CB! The people in the forum is darn deluded!

KNNBCCBCBLJEXERCISE!

I need to read up more about this Arron guy!

Favourites
favourite colour: black! Very utility colour ok! You wear black when you go funerals, birthdays, anything also can 1!
favourite food: Bak chor mee rocks ok!
favourite song: The Ramones - Blitzkrieg Bop! One of the first punk rock I'd heard, and still the best!
favourite day of the week: Friday! Cos you look forward to Saturdays and Sundays!
favourite season: Autumn

Currents
current mood: Jittery! I need a smoke la
current taste: Chocolates!
current clothes: Shorts, no shirt, and a snowcap! I'm going out to buy a pack of smokes!
current desktop: Windows XP default "grassland" theme!
current toenail: CB Jo this one for girls who paint their cb toe nails la!
current time: 12.15
current surroundings: Messy!
current annoyances: I need a pack of smokes!
current thoughts: AHHHHH too much inside!

First
first best friends: Primary School! And I miss that guy like fuck k!
first crush: You la!
first movie: THE FIRST MOVIE I REALLY REALLY REMEMBER IS THE JURASSIC PARK! KNNBCCB! THAT TIME I WAS LIKE 5 THEN I GO WATCH RIGHT KNNB CANNOT SLEEP FOR 1 MONTH SCARED OF DINOSAUR LCB!
first lie: Too many lies to really remember
first music: That thing you do! Serioous! My ah kor bought the casette then I spammed the cassette like 100 times!

Last
last cigarette: 12 hours ago, I'm cutting down on my smokes k
last drink: Plain water!
last car ride: Yesterday!
last crush: You again!
last movie: Rush Hour 3 <--Same with Jo
last phone call: Vicks!
last CD played: Hahaha I rather not say

Have you ever
have you ever dated your best friend: Heh no.
have you ever broken the law: Of course la!
have you ever been arrested: Nah kena IC nia
have you ever skinny-dipped: Nah my privates are really private k
have you ever been on tv: Yup
have you ever kissed someone you don't know: If I did, I cannot remember!

5 things you are wearing: Pants, shirt, undies, snowcap, erh pants?
4 things you done today: Eat, pee, shit, laugh
3 things you can hear right now: The fan!

1 thing you do when you are bored: I think of the most ridiculous situations!

5 people to tag: Shep, Lyn, Eugene, Si Yuan, PC

HAPPY BIRTHDAY WINE!

I AM DAMN SAD NOW CAN!

Ok! Yesterday Max stayed over at my place right! Yeah so after that I went to Simei accompany Max to see the doc, and to play around there.

Nothing special.

Yeah thanks to Si Yuan for the pack of smokes!

Ok! So I reached home and my mommy came to me and asked

"Eh ni shi bu shi tong xin lian"

Which is like are you gay in Mandarin!

WTF I AM SO INSULTED CAN!

Max I am depressed now la!

OK I AM OLD! I AM 19! OH NO!

Thanks to Sheena, Vickie, Wine, Shiying, Hany, Winsor and Eunice for the 85 treat and all the gifts! I LOVE YOU ALL!

Thank you mommy and daddy for the money and the bottle of wine! Hahaha you all rock! Forget about the the cheap tasting wine k! It's the thought that counts!

And thank you everyone for the loving messages!

Ok to show my love for you all, here's a video!

Sheppy asked me to do this in his LJ! Hahaha so I will do now!

Each player of the game starts off with ten weird things or habits or known facts abt yourself. People who get tagged must write it in a blog of their own ten weird things or habits or little known facts as well as state this rule clearly. At the end you must choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names. No tag backs.


1.When on the bus 168, I cannot sleep until the bus reaches the expressway! Then I will sleep until the bus stop moving!

2.The answer to the life, universe and everything is 42.

3.I always talk to myself! Like there's 2 KJS around then we always argue! Ok la not that serious but ya I talk to myself at times!

4.I love to teach! If I get tired of my future profession, I confirm plus double chop stamp go be a secondary school teacher or a TP lecturer!

5.I am half malaysian! Hahaha ok everyone knows that already!

6.I am actually scared of love hahahah

7.I love to make people laugh!

8.My nickname at home is called Ah Bian!

9.I still probably didn't get over it

10. I day dream a lot! LIKE REALLY A LOT! I can daydream for like 4 hours and still not get tired!

OK FINISHED! The people who shall do this quiz thingy will be erh
Winsor
Pin Chen
Hiap Seng
Sheena if you want to do it hahaha
and of course anyone who feels like doing it

Thank you Sheppy for burning 15 minutes of my time!

So I talked to my brother just now! He's at Australia studying some computer stuff, and his orientation group consists of an indian, a sri lankan, a pakistani, him, and the orientation leader's called Mohammad. I can so imagine the scene! Like some terror group!

Oh man I miss him already. It's like only 5 days!

The day before he left, we went for dinner. Was drinking and swapping stories. So the conversation turned to our childhood. He was telling everyone that he used to attack me with a comb and a fork, and left me bleeding! Hahaha! Apparently, even when I was a kid I don't snitch so my mother only found out that day.

I remember when we were kids and we always crowd at the window at night, and pray for the school to explode and getting scolded together. Whoah the feeling sucks that time, but now when you look back, fuck, you miss the innocence.

You can check into Hotel Adult, but you can't sure fucking check out.

Fuck, I'm getting old.

Whoah this week is a roller coaster ride!

So I finally got a SIP slot! CHEER FOR ME EVERYONE! YAYYYYYY!

But Ah Gong doesn't have one:( Ok I'll try to get donuts for you k!

But I dropped my pack of smokes!

AHHHHH! Weep for me everyone!

Ok this is random! -rAndOm whoah CHEE BYE SA I dunno how to use eh Eugene swap hero want?

I found the person I will marry

World most expensive cities to live in 1. Moscow

2. London

3. Seoul

4. Tokyo

5. Hong Kong

6. Copenhagen

7. Geneva

8. Osaka

9. Zurich

10. Oslo

11. Milan

12. St. Petersburg (Russia)

13. Paris

14. Singapore

15. New York City

16. Dublin

17. Tel Aviv

18. Rome

19. Vienna

20. Beijing CB and everyone's telling me that what, why are you complaining about prices in Singapore, you go to New York to stay la! Fuck off la huh! Singapore's cost of living is downright slavery! That's it! Next time I'm moving to Dublin! Beer and leprechauns everywhere!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KIDD BROTHER! Ok even tho' I know you don't read my blog but nevermind happy birthday!

And the director for Fantastic 4 : Rise of the Silver Surfer should be dragged out to the streets and be lynched by angry movie fans. Terrible plot, terrible dialogue, terrible character development even according action movie standards, and the action was just terrible.

Please dear readers, (情爱的读者!) please do not subject yourselves to the terrible agony of watching that movie.

But the company watching with me were great! And still great! Cos' it's like Zhen Hao's birthday! FUCK YOU LA ZHEN HAO WHAT'S YOUR FUCKING PROBLEM!

Ok just had to say that!!





Pin Chen and I will make such terrible porn stars!

TP STINKS!

They just gave me a warning letter! For APEL! APEL! CIVICS AND MORAL EDUCATION! WHY DO GEESE FLY IN V FORMATION! AND THEY GIVE ME A WARNING LETTER FOR THAT! AHHHH WHHYYYY!

Hahahah movie marathon was great, no longer smoking is great, whiskey at 12.00 a.m. in the morning is great, and life is great!

Thanks for everyone who make it so nice!

YAY INSPIRATIONAL POSTTTTT

Whoah. Everytime a person types a resume, I think God kills a kitten.

Holidays are Man's greatest creations.

A contact lens solution manufacturer voluntarily withdrew one of its products yesterday after federal health officials said an investigation had linked it to a rare but potentially blinding eye infection.

Customers were advised to immediately stop using the solution, AMO Complete Moisture Plus Multi-Purpose Solution. The solution, used to clean and store soft contact lenses, is made by Advanced Medical Optics of Santa Ana, Calif.

Soft contact lens wearers who have the AMO solution were advised to discard all partially used or unopened bottles and switch to alternative products. They should also throw out their current contact lenses and the lens storage case because they may harbor an infection-causing amoeba, officials of the federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention in Atlanta said.

The agency also advised people who have used the product to call an eye doctor if they have experienced eye pain or redness, blurred vision, sensitivity to light, the feeling of something in the eye or excessive tearing. The symptoms, which resemble those of other eye problems, can last weeks to months and vary among patients.

Advanced Medical Optics said it withdrew the product as a precaution after the epidemiologists at the disease control centers said they had identified 138 laboratory confirmed cases of the infection, Acanthamoeba keratitis, that have occurred throughout the country since January 2005. Keratitis is inflammation of the cornea.

The authorities said that the link was “preliminary” and that it had not determined precisely how the patients became infected. But investigators found that the risk of developing the infection was at least seven times greater for those people who used the AMO product than for those who did not.

The company said, “There is no evidence to suggest that the voluntary recall is related to a product contamination issue and this does not impact any of AMO’s other contact lens care products.”

Acanthamoeba infection usually develops slowly and can be difficult to diagnose and treat. Doctors often attribute Acanthamoeba infections at first to a virus, herpes simplex, that is treatable. But the drugs for herpes do not help Acanthamoeba patients. Doctors advise treating the infection as early as possible.

The amoeba is ubiquitous and often found in tap and recreational water, soil, sewage, cooling towers and heating and ventilation systems. It is not spread person-to-person.

So far, epidemiologists have interviewed 46 of the 138 patients with confirmed cases of the illness. Of the 46, 39 (85 percent) wore soft contact lenses, 3 (7 percent) wore rigid lenses and 4 (9 percent) reported no contact lens use.

Acanthamoeba keratitis usually affects healthy people who wear contact lenses. About 85 percent of the cases reported in this country have occurred in contact lens users, including wearers who say they follow recommended contact lens-care practices, health officials said.

Ok everyone who uses this brand of saline please throw it away or drink it!

Insanity and hope are twin brothers of the Box.

Sheena, Winsor and I have this wonderful idea.

Once we make enough money to heck care this world, we're gonna go live in the Himalayas!

Damn shiok I tell you.

No need to worry about shit like politics and work.

Getting sick of civilisation I tell you.

On the mountains right we're gonna live like lone wolves.

No pack politics, no alpha to worry about, just today.

Maybe it's because I'm an analog creature stuck in a digital world.

Hahaha mental flu.

Yay blogger is working normally for me! FINALLY!

Ok went to town area just now! AND I WAS DARN INSULTED K!

There's this 60ish aunty who came to talk to me and said

"Xiao di, ni shi bu shi qu jiao tang?"

"Huh? Bu shi leh?"

"Ni yang zhi hen xiang ji du jiao tu! Ta men quan bu dou chuan de xiang ni zhe yang!"

So for those who can't read the han yu pin yin, the aunty thought I was a Christian cos' I looked like one! EH! I LOOK EMO K! I AM WEARING THIS ULTRA EMO SPECS, AND CARRYING A GUITAR AROUND! I STARE AT THE FLOOR FOR DUNNO WHAT REASONS, AND I CONTEMPLATE THE MEANING OF LIFE AND DEATH EVERYDAY! I AM NOT A CHRISTIAN!

No offence to christian, but aunty, my allegiance is not to The Abrahamic God ok! I am an ATHEIST!

And after that experience, I was crossing the road, then I saw this car coming towards us, so I naturally told gang to kuai dian zhou right? Then this 2 ah bengs at my back thought I said Fuck you to them. No, I'm serious! So they called me back and jiomed me! Luckily I called Si Yuan along! SI YUAN GANGSTER OK!

So the conversation went something like this:

"Eh boy did you just said fuck you to us?"

"Eh no? I said kuai dian zhou to my friends?"

"Oh."

And I did my trademark apologetic salute.

I just attract the weirdest people in the world.

Eccentric Magnetism I guess.

Needles, and lovers, collapse in a guilty heap

Operation Stop Smoking (Failed)

I want to quit smoking!

Like I really do!

But 3 days without any nicotine is HELL!

You lie on the bed, and all you think of is smokes!

You fall asleep, you dream of you smoking!

Your relative smokes, and you stand beside him just to get a breathe of ciggy smokes!

You just feel like shit huh!

But I want to quit!

AHHHHHHHHH!

What can change the nature of a man?

Today it's torment!

It burnsssssssssssss

Hahahahahah I need to pray to the patron saint of lost causes

Ok I watched Spiderman 3!

Thought it was pretty nice!

This is bad. Coughed blood. Bad.

Ok I was sneezing yesterday in toilet when I sneezed out blood!

I never had a nosebleed or anything before! AHHH! Years of conditioning by chinese wu xia dramas told me that if I bleed from my nose or my mouth or my ears, that means I need a jibabom!

WINE WHERE ARE YOU!!!!!!

Congrats Mr Sarkozy!

Hahahaha I love my kidd brother!

I was arguing with him about bullshit like lawyers needing A math and the etymology of the word nigger! Hahahah was telling him that you need to know at least something in all the fields in order to make a good lawyer! And being the brother I know he of course disagreed and a debate of epic proportions ensued.

EH AND NIGGAS CAN BE WHITE OK! JUST BECOS THEY ARE BLACK DOESN'T MAKE THEM A NIGGA! THEY CAN BE AHBUNEHNEH ALSO OK! LOOK AT MICHAEL JACKSON! HE'S A NIGGA EVEN THO HE'S WHITE YOU!

Ok. Sedition Act, I'm sorry.

Was staring up at the sky just now when I was having my late night Vitamin C. The stars are pretty bright tonight!

Amazing that each star has like planets orbiting them, and each planet holds so much promise. They whisper to me of civilisations and oceans and mountains and plains and soooo much more!

I want to live forever so I can visit each and everyone of them!

So much to learn and experience, so little time.

Really humbles you to know that you are just one tinny whinny speck in the universal scheme of things.

I want to be someone big next time, so when other sentient beings visit Earth, hey, at least they will know my name!

"Greetings Alsagoth, Progenitor of Aldor and Galwin, my name is KJ, of the Kwek aingofarth"

Ok, late night ramblings! Good night all!

Was staring up at the sky just now when I was having my late night Vitamin C. The stars are pretty bright tonight!

Amazing that each star has like planets orbiting them, and each planet holds so much promise. They whisper to me of civilisations and oceans and mountains and plains and soooo much more!

I want to live forever so I can visit each and everyone of them!

So much to learn and experience, so little time.

Really humbles you to know that you are just one tinny whinny speck in the universal scheme of things.

I want to be someone big next time, so when other sentient beings visit Earth, hey, at least they will know my name!

"Greetings Alsagoth, Progenitor of Aldor and Galwin, my name is KJ, of the Kwek aingofarth"

Ok, late night ramblings! Good night all!

Ok blogger is acting really weird right now! The buttons are all aligned horizontally instead of the good ol' normal way! AHHHH WHAT IS HAPPENING!

And I hope you are really well. Even if the world spits on you, I will still give you a hug ok.

You know who you are.

I miss this bunch of people.



And Mr. Tang Pin Chen! I shall see you on Sunday! Don't forget ok!

And where is Ker Siang nowadays!

Ok, I shall dedicate a song to you all!

A hundred days have made me older
Since the last time that I saw your pretty face
A thousand lies have made me colder
And I don't think I can look at this the same
But all the miles that separate
Disappear now when I'm dreaming of your face

I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight it's only you and me

The miles just keep rollin'
As the people leave their way to say hello
I've heard this life is overrated
But I hope that it gets better as we go

I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl its only you and me

Everything I know, and anywhere I go
It gets hard but it wont take away my love
And when the last one falls
When it's all said and done
It gets hard but it wont take away my love

I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl its only you and me

The dream was really really sweet=)

And I got my tarot deck this week! Ok doing a lot and a lot of readings will kill you!

Nothing really much to talk about. I wanna smile again=)

I WANT A PET SEAL

I hate falling sick! Especially when there's important stuff to do! Like Business Orientation! But nevermind.

I just wish I ain't that sickly.

And I seriously need to start practicing my guitar scales. But I hate scales! I still remember piano lessons! Loads of bullshit ok! But the sad thing is that if you don't learn your scales you ain't going nowhere!

Why am I using the word ain't. Aren't. Aren't.

Ahhhh holidays are ending like reallll soon! Where did it go!!!!!

Japan was fun. Sakura trees are nicer then nice, the cigarette there taste pretty nice, snow falling onto your head is fun.

I shan't post details from FOC/FOW. Suffice to say that anything I post will result in a libel suit.

Ok I'm ready for my Japan trip! I got myself my EMO SPECS! Like finally! Now I can jio the mei mei over there with my 1337 cut myself skillz!

Ok I don't have a picture of me wearing my emo specs, so I shall do the next best thing. A thousand words.

The clouds drifted across on raven wings, suffocating the dying moon. Down below, a deathly chill embraced KJ, who was camping under the countless stars, after finally completing his quest to acquire an Emo Spec.

Oh, what a quest it was! Countless fel beasts he slew, and many more he escaped from. Nights spent shivering, with only his guitar, a gift from his master, a puissant bard, as his company. And after suffering hardships that would consume lesser men, he obtained the legendary Emo Specs.

An artifact created by the Alchemists of Tampines, it was made through the darkest rituals known only to those who dabble in the Dark Arts, using reagents from creatures long dead. The rims of the artifact were jet black, and it housed lenses made from glass.

The Emo Specs was said to curse the wearer with an insatiable need for inflection, causing the wearer to bloody his wrists with blades. However, once the Artifact's lust for blood is satisfied, the wearer can write poems of unparalleled beauty, tempting others to also obtain the Emo Specs.

KJ finally succumbed to the desire to wear the Emo Specs. Donned it he did, and a need to cut himself washed over him. No longer being able to bear the agony of such need, he took out his blade, purchased at the Town of Tampines, and slowly cut himself across the wrist.

What visions he saw! Images of death and suffering, heartbreaks and pain, started to sear themselves into his mind. How could he ever smile, and feel happy again, after experiencing so much pain? And he finally understood why his master died, leaving a poem of utmost sensitivity for him.

His vision blurring from the tears shed from sadness, he started to write.

OK this is bullshit! But nevermind you all get the drift! But I shall compose an emo poem now to celebrate my coming to emoness. And I shall be original.

I will write an emo haiku!

Pain and suffering,
Tag along
Black Spectacles

I don't really
Know how to write
A fucking Haiku.

OK! Last post! See you all soon and don't cut yourself!

The truth behind the game
DOTA . . . naglalaro lang naman ako ah

The Truth about DOTA...

The truth behind the online
game DOTA
(a satanic game)
ANCIENT %u2013 question: who is
ancient?
%u2013 answer: God but satans disguises
himself and
deceives us, saying
that He is the Ancient one.

Why?
who would you think you will defend on
this game? whose defense is this? (with
those
cheats and verbal acknowledgements..
later to be
discussed)

the obvious aims:

-to kill your enemy, to destroy the
tree of
life for sentinel, to destroy the
frozen throne for
scorge, and TO BE BEYOND GODLIKE in
this
game.

the real aims:

- worshipping satan through consciously
enjoying the game.
Why?
- because this game is extremely a
deception from satan and you are
actually enjoying
it.
THE GAME
There are two bases or teams:

Sentinel vs.scorge
Good ones
monsters
Human
dark evil
Weak
strong

CHEATS:

WHO'S YOUR DADDY
- This is used to become stronger
- But actually this cheat pertains to
admittance
that your father indeed is satan.

GREED IS GOOD
- To have more money
- In Ecclesiastes 5:10-11 "Those who
love
money will never have enough,, the more
you have.. the more people come to help
you
spend it."
- It feeds your mind that it's fine to
love money
because you need it.

I SEE DEAD PEOPLE
- This allows you to see the map
- The truth behind is that, spiritually
the players
and those who are involved are dead;
they don't
have real life for they are being used
be
satan to praise him through this game.
Dead
people!
Verbal acknowledgements:

- OMG (Oh my God) The Bible states, "do
not use the name of the Lord in vain!"
- BULLs**t and HOLYs**t need not to
explain
- Good job / Good work when you killed
somebody
you are being congratulated with a good
job or good work.

TESTIMONY:

At the dawn of April 17, 2006, my
brother
(JIREH SINGSON) dreamt of 2 dreams.
First, he dreamt that Jesus is showing
how evil
dota is, then he woke up and blurted
out: "ayoko na
magdota!" he fell asleep again and had
his second
dream, he was talking with a friend who
in real life
doesn't want to play dota anymore, when
my
brother blurted out once again, "ayoko
na
magdota!", a man came near to him and
laid hands
cursing my brother. When they rebuked
it in Jesus
name, it disappeared. Then, when he
shouted "hindi na ako magdodota kahit
kailan!"
Crystal Maiden (one of those unpleasing
characters in dota) appeared in my
brother and he
told us that it felt like he couldn't
breathe, my
brother rebuked it in Jesus' name and
told to
it, "hindi na ako magpapabitag sa
iyo, I belong to Jesus!" Then he woke
up
and ran downstairs. He told everything
to us and
prayed for him. My father helped him
renounce it
and right after he surrendered he
puked, and we
brough him to hospital. But our family
claimed that
Jesus is
victorious and satan will never win. He
had a
testimony about his dream the Sunday
after he
experienced it, after he witness, those
who
are
involved in dota were prayed for.

Note: Akala ng lahat laro lang dota,
pero
si Satan
hindi nakikipaglaro. He is using dota
to
pollute
the
minds of our youth.
-faith singson

Ephesians 4:27
Don't give devil a chance! If you
ignore
this, it's
your own risk.
This is the TRUTH. Do not be blind and
do not
harden your heart.

Pls. Pass this..

You know you are there when Christians and co start calling your product satanic.

A Toronto man was sentenced Tuesday to three years in prison for sexually assaulting his young daughter and giving her a sexually transmitted disease.

The man, 47, who cannot be named to protect the identity of the victim, gave his daughter, 5, gonorrhea.

The incident occurred in July 2001. The man, a former labourer, was charged in 2002 and in October 2006 he was convicted of sexual assault causing bodily harm and sexual interference.

Ontario Superior Court Justice Bonnie Croll told a Toronto courtroom that the girl may suffer from infertility later in life because of the disease.

If untreated, gonorrhea can lead to pelvic inflammatory disease, which in turn can damage the fallopian tubes.

Tests in 2002 showed that the girl had developed the same strain of gonorrhea as her father.

Croll used the words "repulsive" and "despicable" in court to describe the man's conduct. The man, who uses a motorized wheelchair, is also HIV-positive.

In court, the Crown had asked for a sentence of eight to 10 years, while the defence sought a conditional sentence of less than two years.

JUSTICE BAO WOULD HAVE CASTRATED THE BASTARD

So they told me the cost to repair my darling phone.

600 dollars.

600 DOLLARS! WTF! I got the phone for like 260, and they tell me it's 600 bucks?! O.K la, my phone visited my washing machine and my dryer, but there's no need for 600 bucks right!

So there goes my plan to photograph Japanicus Chioues at their natural habitat.

And I visited www.mobilesquare.com.sg to scout for a new phone. And they sure know I fucked up my phone. THEY HAVE A ADVERTISEMENT FOR CONDOMS! "Hey, next time use protection when you fuck around with your phone ok!"

And my phone was christianed as Destiny. Which reminds me, I just lost my phone 2 weeks ago, and some kind soul returned it to me.

As Spirit Breakers often said, "It's destiny."

Gonna get a Destiny diamond ring from the Jeweler.

Wah bad day.

Woke up at 7.00 a.m. in the kuku morning. For some Qing Ming Jie shit.

Ok I love my ancestors! They are cool and all, with one having a chinese polygamous marriage(Not allowed in the Strait Settlements Ordinance or some similar bullshit). But I SERIOUSLY hate the living.

Not my direct family. They are cool and all, but most of the rest should just find a plot in the Teochew cemetery.

They give me bullshit like:

"Eh ni hen cute hor."

Eh fuck. You say it in front of everyone, including your daughter, and you bash your daughter in front of me. Eh. Even if you don't love her I do ok.

And I still cannot forgive you for letting like 6 hours pass before you finally called my father when I broke my arm. I can still remember the pain. Not really nice. Doubly not nice when you were just P1 and all.

And the Ang Ku Kuehs. I swear every year they will buy the same old shit. Damn. Can you all buy tu tu kuehs or what? But it's ok.

What's not ok is that I just destroyed my phone. I put it in the dryer, and pop goes my phone! AHHHHHHHH!

Ok I still cannot get used to using periods instead of exclamation marks! Makes my sentence sound so sombre and all! BULLSHIT!

Ahhh! Studying for family law stinks man! Especially without my studying khakis!

And I no longer believe in divine intervention! There's no beam of light, sudden burst of inspiration, no voice whispering to me when I write my bullshit! Saint Genesius of Rome, I'd like prayed for divine intervention for so many freaking times, for Criminal Procedure and Family Law, and no shit happened!

How could youuuu!

Or maybe it's the wrong saint I prayed to! Cos' I'm no catholic, so I think Genesius won't save me........

I think it's time to change deities.



O.K! Manjushri, I hope you can save me this time!

OMM MANI PEH MI HOMMMM

For those who don't know how bengs and lians act and dress, here's a primer for you allllll

http://members.tripod.com/~kunkun/ahbeng2.htm

The materials a bit old la. Nowadays la hor, wah lang ah beng bo tia canto techno liao la! Wa lang sibeh hip ok? Tia Arleh n Bee hor. Ai lancing ke Jouk liao, boh ke Sparks 484(No longer exist) or Rush.

Must study ok?

Ok there will be a test on bengism on Monday. Please log in to thebengnextdoor.blogspot.com on 23 March 2007 to print your seating arangement.

Wah, lim beh uploaded jik keh sibei paikia eh gua! Le lang ai ke tia, sibei tok kong eh! Leh lang tia ka du lan ho, ka lim beh kong, lim beh immeliately leemobe da song hor.

Wah mai siao siao hor! Lim beh tian pai tia jik keh kua, tia ka eh hiao chiu hor!

Boh bian. Wah gu za bueh hiao eng nao. Boh culture.

Lim beh ledikete jik keh kua hoh wah eh pai kia hia ti Winsor! Wa lang zoh pai kia eh, ai tia hokkien kua eh!

Whoah. Theres like a mile of curly wurly lines under all the hokkien words i typed.

www.jeevansathi.com

HAHAAHAH IT'S LIKE AN INDIAN FRIENDSTER!

Ok got back my results! Damn terok so I shall not put it up here!

But nevermind! As Mr Chng said, you can shit the system or the system can shit you!

But no matter who shat on who, the system always gets the last laugh.

But lemme laugh first!

Hahahahaha!

I love the holidays!

I wake up at 1.00P.M. everyday, switch on my computer and play WoW for 2 hours! Then I eat, then I play WoW again, shower, drink a can of beer, and play WoW again!

No one can kill me! I already have no life!

Yeah. And my ah gong's staying at my house! He's a pretty cool guy; he is a communist, he fought the Japanese tooth and nail, and also fought the British! I mean, he was a warrior! A spartan!

And he smokes like a chimney. He smokes 2 packs of Consulate Menthol a day! Ok, I disagree with smoking Consulate, the taste is like shit! But he puts me, Ridhwan, Halim and Shep to shame! The amount he smokes is like the amount Law smokes per day!

Hmm. But he's also the reason why I choose not to live to like 80 years old.

I mean, you have a glorious past. Then you live till 80, and you can't do nuts. Ok, my gramps can walk around, but, I think, when you're 80, the past starts to haunt you. And I don't wanna see my grandchildren ignore me. Ok, I don't ignore my gramps, but how the hell can I communicate with him?! My teochew is shit and I know nuts about him besides he's a commie! And from what I perceive, my...counterparts in my extended family don't really like him.

Which is a darn shame. He's like Leonidas and Guan Yu and Conan the babarian put together.

But I don't know how to even ask him how's his day.

I wish I can speak in Teochew.

I'm turning into a fag!

There's like tons of guys looking at my friendster!

OH NO!

OK i just got a letter from the library saying that I never return my books!

OK la true la! The Odyssey and the Iliad is still in my house! I own up ok! Penal offence ok? 3 months imprisonment and 12 strokes of the cane for denying others from reading the books ok! Even though the last time the books were loaned out was at 1998!

Guess the classics aren't really well liked anymore!

Yes! And I have to complement myself! I was walking to bank in money just now when I walked past 7-11! And I didn't buy cigarettes! Ok la I tried to, but there wasn't any Viceroy Menthol left, so I left! Thanks to the person who bought the last pack of smokes ok!

I don't think I can last till this Saturday! But I shall try!

Ok? Sharyl I never smoke for 9 days liao! I shall make it 10!

Ok I seriously must bitch about this fucked up incident!

I had to perform today. Cool. Flutist ok! So you know Chinese Orchestra. Standard dress code! White long sleeved shirt, black pants, black shoes. And I had to perform in this restaurant. Cool.

Then I went to the loo. When I was walking towards the loo, this ah pek came to me and asked "Eh, ji pua archar pang tolo?"

EH!!!!! I AM NOT A WAITER! I AM A DISCIPLE OF APOLLO AND MUSE! I AM THE LEGENDARY JIE JUN! THE BOY WHO ONCE CHARMED THE EVIL NAZI ARMY WITH HIS PROWESS WITH THE DIZI! I AM THE GENIUS WHO AMAZED THE PUGILISTIC WORLD WITH MY HAUNTING MELODIES!

And that ah pek called me a WAITER! OH MY GOD!

And what's more, I took the mrt home right! There was this aunty who did the I wanna seduce you stance on me! You know the stance right! One hand on the wall, then face you! Make you feel trapped and stuff! THAT STANCE! ON ME! I WAS LIKE HUGGING THE WALL AND THERE WAS THIS TWO GIRLS WHO WERE SNIGGERING AT ME! AHHHHHH!

Where is the justice man!

OK, first of all lemme wish Mr. Yeo Hiap Seng bon voyage! He's gonna leave Singapore to China tomorrow! Let's us all give him a round of applause!

*Clap clap clapppp*

Ok. Take care ok Hiappy? We shall always miss your part the human sea skillz in packed malls. See you in a month and a half!

Ok. After Tuesday, I shall go to comics collection, and invest 75 bucks on Burning Crusade. I shall no longer touch any books until I get my results, when I shall read Leong Wai Kum everyday until I finish my Family Law supp paper.

Yayyyyyyy

O.K I just heard very bad news.

My relatives came to my house yesterday. O.k, cool. They brought some kids, o.k, cool. Then one kid was throwing a tantrum cos' his daddy don't let him go swim. O.k, not my huan lo. BUT THAT PIECE OF SHIT CAME TO MY ROOM, AND VENTED HIS ANGER ON MY GUITAR, MY AMP, AND MY PIANO!

OH MY FUCKING GOD!

HEY! THAT PIANO COST LIKE 3K! AND THE GUITAR AND AMP COST 1K! IT'S WORTH MUCH MORE THAN YOU! THOSE ARE MY PRIDE AND JOY! THEY WENT THROUGH SHIT WITH ME TOGETHER!

And that bitch attacked my piano, my guitar and my amp.

Oh Emily, why didn't your strings snap and blind that bitch? Oh Amanda, why didn't you give out an electric shock that will awe even the Nautilus? Oh Penny, if you are too elegant to do shit, at least fall onto that bitchass kid and kill him!

Oh my god.

I still cannot get over it.

You can burn my house, you can steal my phone, you can take away my wallet, you can do shit, but you don't mess with my instruments ok! THEY ARE SACRED YOU BITCH!

I wish he dies tomorrow.

Hell knoweth no fury like a KJ scorneth.

Love of mine,
             
Someday you will die
            
But I will be close behind
 
I will follow, you into the dark

No blinding light
               
Or tunnels to gates of white
               
Just our hands clasped so tight
    
Waiting for, the hint of a spark

Chorus:

If heaven and hell decide, that they both are satisfied

Illuminate the "no's", on their vacancy signs

If there's no one beside you, when your soul embarks

Then I will follow you into the dark

Verse Two:

Catholic school
       
As vicious as roman rule
     
I got my knuckles bruised
 
By a lady in black

 OK I want this song to be played during my funeral! And I don't want those cheena band ok! I
want Electrico or DragonForce or Dom's Band to play ok! And considering the rate my packs
disappear nowadays, my funeral will come soon man.

 Ahhh! Fuck OB!




    
And I held my tongue as she told me, "son, fear is the heart of love."
 
So I never went back

Chorus Two (Same):

If heaven and hell decide, that they both are satisfied

Illuminate the "no's", on their vacancy signs

If there's no one beside you, when your soul embarks

Then I will follow you into the dark

Verse Three:

You and me, have seen everything to see
                
From Bangkok to Calgary 
  
And the soles of your shoes
 
Are all worn down, the time for sleep is now
                   
But it's nothing to cry about
         
Because we'll hold each other soon, in the blackest of rooms

Continue strumming the Bb minor an extra measure before the last chorus.

Chorus Three

If heaven and hell decide, that they both are satisfied

Illuminate the "no's", on their vacancy signs

If there's no one beside you, when your soul embarks

Then I will follow you into the dark

Repeat last line, ending on F.

Ok the piece me and Red wrote got FIRST! FIRST OK! FIRST! SATU! UNO! DI YI! Yay! At least I know I have a future if I somehow screw up my education! Call me Jay Chou! HAHAHAHAH!

Ok I realised that when Valentine's Day come, there will be sudden influx of emo nicks! Like Banglas from Dhaka! Like "siince tt dae ii met euu, ii noe euu are de one fer miee!"

Ahhh!

Ok everyone, happy V Day! Ok la belated la but it's the thought that counts!

Yup thanks to Pearlyn for the letter! Great read! And thanks to the rest for today!

And I drew this during our studying trip!



Starry Night over the Rhone! Nice right! Ok la sorry Van Gogh for screwing up your masterpiece!

AHHHHHHH!

I dropped 2 boxes of contact lenses!

MOTHER FUCKER!

SHITHEAD!

SON OF A DIRTY CUNT!

BLACK CHEE BYE!

GENITAL WARTS!

bANGLAS FROM HELL!

OK. Swore the shit already. Jie Jun don't get angry!

JIE JUN IT'S 30 MOTHERFUCKING BUCKS!

3 PACKS OF CIGARETTES!

15 PACKS OF KUEH PENG!

HOW COULD YOU LOSE SUCH A CRUCIAL THING! WHY WHY WHY!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Ok great reunion dinner with my extended family yesterday!

So me, my brother, my dad, and my two uncles were the epitome of alcoholics yesterday! One bottle of port, one bottle of martell, countless bottles bottles of beer were drank like they were like water la!

So of course I woke up with a hangover that Jesus himself must have felt when he woke up the day after the Last Supper!

And me and another uncle were arguing some obscure point of law. For the fuck, I cannot remember why we argued, but I distinctly remember Women's Charter and Penal Code!

Eh I swear I'm correct even though I drank more than an indian sailor in a tavern!

So me and him were debating, and luckily alcohol did not rob me of my 1337 skillz as an orator! If the force of eloquence is to be taken as the force of truth, yes, I'm eloquent!

See I can quote Socrates even when I'm having a hangover! Ok that was poring my own lam pa but nevermind. KJ you very smart leh!

Shit I think I'm still drunk!

Ok my grades have just fell from rock bottom to excavation trips.

But the funny thing is that when shit hits the fan, you start to see who really stand beside you.

Thanks to all the people who like consoled me, gave me hope, and stenged cigarettes with me!

And thanks to the people who jammed with me just now even though i stink at rhythm guitar hahahah. Enjoyed it la!

Ok. Now I'm staying in Yew Tee. This place is cool cos' there's like few people here but uncool cos there's few people here too! Yeah! My house is like right beside this forest, and between the forest there's this train track can! So romantic right?! Like some sort of chinese old school movie, where the man leaves his town for a new job and the lady runs after the train!

But I always will miss Simei. And my brothers staying in there and around it! Miss you mother pundeh loads!

I wanna thank my brothers for making my last day in Simei a very very very fun one!

Photos up after my DoTA match.

Hahahaha the design western food uncle is damn cock can!

He took this pig figurine(Eh very cute you all must see) and showed me. Then he asked me:

"Eh boy zhu si zhen me yang jiao de?"

I of course went "Eh?"

"Zhu si zhen me yang jiao de?

Then I replied "Oink oink?"

"Hahhah ni jiao de hen xiang!"

Then there was this lady beside me who was laughing at me la! But nevermind she quite chio, so she can laugh=)

And I saw Hock Yew's twin! I saw him then I passed him my can of Green Tea then asked him to help me to buy! But that Hock Meng just gave me the kwai lan stare. Damn scary. Then I realised Hock Yew's doppleganger did not have a scar on his left cheer!

Today is very scary can! But nevermind I shall continue my quest to stop drinking coke!

Wah lao. The people at the forum give my kidd brother bad advice la! Ask him bring parang or aim what ribcage all. Say what break the ribcage will pierce the pai kia's heart then let him die an agonizing death. Eh! This is not the way abang!

If you kena caught carrying parang, the punishment not funny one ok! I don't wanna see you inside 2 year chalet just because you brought a parang! And don't hit the ribcage la! Eh bang your size like mine, you must fight smart! Remember in fights against other guys there can only be 3 places to hit!

The lam pa, the nose, and the guts!

The rest you hit no damage one! If you hit the lam pa I swear to you critical damage 5000! Then once he on the floor just stomp on his guts. Confirm lei siong 1 I tell you. But don't so hiong arh. The person die you kena s.300.

Eh kidd brother next time got fight just call me la! Go down cham siong with gangsters can liao!

HAHAHHAAHAHAHAH!

So my kidd brother just got into a fight. Get into fight nevermind! Fight is ok with me! But don't post it on forum la! Or at least post in a forum where your brother won't serve. Like some pedoforum. Eh wait I serve pedoforums. Erhh.. nevermind.

Hahaha so I got to know about the fight ONLINE! Hahahaha! I think tmr can tiao zhui liao. Must get Winsor to help me backup and beat those pundeh sec 4 who wanna bully my kidd brother. Eh only I can bully him can! Anyone else who wanna hoot him must first hoot me first!

Pundeh. You can beat everyone else in the world but you don't fucking pundeh beat my brothers or anyone around me.

Tmr I if I will lose I just call 999. They the biggest gang in Singapore la, somemore got uniform and baton 1.

Today's accounting paper can be summed up with one picture.

You know there's this weird feeling where you absolutely know you have to say something but you don't know what to say? It's like now! I seriously need to say something but I don't know what to say!

The details are all copied into my subconscious mind but when I try to recall them they JUST do not want to come out! Irritating la nah beh! Grr.

Ok. Hope the conveyancing role-play goes smoothly later! Like vanilla smooth. Or ice cream smooth.

Yeah and I realised that the letter C is pretty redundant in the English language! As illustrated below!

Chair = Tjhair.
Cigarette = Sigarette.
Cook = Kook.

Weird huh! C is useless! C is redundant! Remove C! Ok the above musing about the letter C was unintended!

You could be my unintended!

Hillary Klinton.
Kristopher Shepherdson Mark.
James Kook.

Hmm.

Which leads to a statement an ex-classmate of mine once made.

"Successful people often has H in their names."

Ok, the letter H looks good. It looks balanced! But successful?

Ok let's list down the successful people who has H in their names shall we?

"Yeo Hiap Seng" <--Not to be confused with Yeo Ker Siang.

"Hilary Clinton"

"Henry VIII"

"Triple H"

"Hoobastank?"

"Alfred Hitchcock"

Eh I can't list out any more! See! The letter H has nothing to do with successful people! The letter H just looks good!

My brother was cleaning up his cupboard when he found this!
















Games for the Megadrive! Hahah! I still remember playing Sonic 2 and Golden Axe and whatever! Yay for cleaning out closets!

Family law stinks! That stupid clients damn kuai lan leh! Ask what standard of living and cost of living! Eh I learnt before but I forgot! Nah beh chee bye pu bor pundeh lanjiao!

I love acting.

I'm moving out on the 4th of February.

Feels damn weird.

Been staying in this house for almost 19 years. Now to leave this house, I seriously don't know what to do. I mean, this house is ME. I know every cranny and nook, the best place to hide your undone homework, how to get the water hot faster and all that!

I remember a lot.

Like how there will be pretty rainbow colors on the wall when it's evening.

Like how my and my family will cram into the master bedroom to sleep when I was young.

Like how I stood in my mummy's shopping trolley and cutting through the place that now is Modena.

I remember, and I still want to make more remembers.

After drifting for 19 years of my life, I had finally realised what my true goal in my life is.

It is to eat the best ba chor mee in Singapore!

Yay for revelations!

Eh sorry Shep. YTD had something serious. Couldn't go.

God I hate banglas.

They fucking cannot build my home!

Stupid hole in the toilet bowl, what scratches in the parquet, there's like this two inch gap between the kitchen counter top and the tiles la!

Go back to your rioting country la!

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: "mxmsky"
To:
Date: Thu, 04 Jan 2007 06:11:35 -0500
Subject: optimal ribbon

aifbvjxlafoqaes hwdfdkv ceqw fdsdw kqhoq


Eh shit I think my gmail got hacked or something! Why am I sending emails to people I don't know? Why am I sending mails to the United States Government?! Am I an Alien?!

42. The answers are 42. 42 42 42. FORTY TWWOOOO.

Yeah. Finally making a tagboard.

How much is that doggie on the window?

I must cham xiong with my mummy to get a new phone.

My E310C looks like a phone I STOLE from a BANGLA.

I want a codec system!

Or just telepathy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PtFsEd0kwCM

Whoa I remember this movie. Last time damn hip can! Everyone in school talking about it all, then like very emotional arh.

I remember that time I went to this family chalet. I fucking swear I watched this movie like 5 times in a day with my khakis.

Damn power!