I must make my own sex video liao man!

"Your enthusiasm is more important than you realize. Unlock your inner cheerleader."

Wah kao! Unlock my inner cheerleader? Later like Tammy how?

That Tammy girl is damn poor thing. Now the whole world knows that she had sex with someone. Even the forum I frequents knows that her sex video was out there. There's everyone's trading her videos online man! Wasted she's not Paris Hilton or else she could have gotten a job as a model! Kena fucked by society man. Last I heard, she is facing expel?

WTF? Expel her for? Having sex with another man and getting caught? Or ruining the school's reputation? This is unfair man.

Then somemore there's this big mainstream media hoo-haa. It seems that we Singaporeans are still damn sheltered. Hey, every teenager out there is not promiscuous nor are we sexual creatures! Nan mo orh mee tuo fuo and amen for good measure. Please my fellow countrymen. There's no need to write to Straits Times to say that you are disgusted with the moral decay of our society and infidels should be struck down by the wrath of God. She made a mistake, yes, but I believe that pre-maritual sex exists in your generation too. Hell, you might even had taken part in it. So don't cover your eyes with the fabric of society norms. Do not stick your head into the sand. Teenagers, just like you at that age, have sex.

Get over it good sirs and madams.

Wedding bells are ringing!

I'm so dead! I went to meet up with my mum and kid brother just now. Went to Swenson's to eat! Had my usual black pepper steak. Actually I wanna eat some ice cream but the bunch of school girls beside me were damn noisy. Then some more cannot eat properly cos' got school girl beside mah. Must act shuai. Just like Jeslyn "Eh KJ step shuai!~" It's all a facade my friend.

Went to Singtel to sign up for the 10MBPS plan thingy. When I was going up, I saw a familiar face. Guess who? JOANNA! She was going down the escalator and she said "Si Fei Zhu!" My mum heard it and she said Joanna was cute. DIE BOY! Mahmee arh. I don't want to marry Joanna arh!

Went to sign up for the Singnet thing. Then we went to Starhub to cancel off my 6 years old Maxonline connection. Starhub just lost another loyal customer due to inattention to our needs. I mean, WTF?! My internet connection can disconnect every 15 minutes? Eh please leh Starhub, I downloading the NYP video leh. Must think of the needs of your customers mah. Then when I was sitting there and talking to the guy, I saw 1 bowl of STARHUB sweets! So I took 1 and ate it. Tasted just like Starhub. Sweet on the outside, sour in the inside. What's more it's apple flavored. Original Sin = StarHub.

Ok. Lemme go Hub with my MBS notes.

Music is not just for the rich.

Had my performance today! Damn funny! I went to the restaurant at like 10.20. Wearing that stupid black and white formal attire. Then there was this uncle there who said this to me:

Uncle:"Eh xiao di(To me and my brother), ni men kuai dian qu li mien zuo gong leh! Zai deng shen me?" [Eh boys? You all still outside? Don't want go in work?]

KJ: "Erh Huh?"

Uncle: "Zhuo gong!"[Do work!]

KJ:"Eh, uncle, wo men bu shi ze li de waiter!"[Eh uncle, we are not working as waiters here!]

Knn. Black and white shirt sucks! Then the uncle just had to save face in front of his employee. He told me"Eh bu yao ba ni jiao fang qiang bi na li."[Eh, don't put your leg against the wall!]

Kena fucked by uncle early in the morning. Then went to sit down. Hahah! I just realised that with my gold looking hair I look damn beng. My mum recorded a video of us performing and really arh. Damn it. Too bad I cannot post the video up here or else Joshua Ang the 18 Siao'er + Jeslyn the ex 18 siao'er will come whack me up till I forget my papa's name man. But it's alright. I don't wear my black and white Charlie Chaplin + Waiter's attire out everyday. Hope Joshua don't come TP or else he whack me when I eating my favourite black pepper steak:<

Ah bengs are in demand nowadays man. Look at Jack Neo's new movie I Not Stupid 2. Wah. Got so many bengs sia. Not Joshua or Shaun, but those cameos. Never get me to join! Eh! I ambassador of bengs in TP Law and Management ok? See me no up. Then summore can see Joshua Ang and Shaun Lee who is Singapore's Shaun Yue(Pin Ji pukes!)

Progressive loss of maturity.

Which isn't a bad thing! Sheena brought hell of a lot of stuff to play in school yesterday! There were like those plastic balloons which you can blow out using some plastic straw. Donno how to explain la. When you were a child you confirm play before. Then we blew loads of them. At level 5 of TP business main building. Damn fun! Then we brought those balloons which you can twist into animals and what not! Damn fun also! We even gave Poh Bee 1!

At the end of the peer appraisal thingy, we drank wine. In school! Damn style man! Hahahaha! This is what I call fun! Played with yoyos. Attended the last LSM lecture! Mam Goh was like asking "What is the chamber in the Parliament house?" and the bastard in me just had to shout "TOILET!" Fun!

So I got tagged! By Van neh neh!

The tagged victim has to come up with 8 different points of their perfect lover.Need to mention the sex of the target.Tag 8 victims to join this game & leave a comment on their page saying they've been tagged.If tagged the 2nd time, there's no need to post again.

So without further ado, I shall elaborate on my PERFECT MAN LOVER!

Disclaimer: This post is a satire. Any resemblance of anyone, living or dead, is purely by coincidence.

Target: Man

1. The target man cannot be a pussy! He must be like:

Manly arh. Can lie on the shoulders and sing Qing Tian *Shy*. The muscles must be damn big arh! At least must have Hiap Seng's size!

2. Must be self sacrificing. Like:

But cannot sacrifice too much until my dar dar kena nailed arh.

3. Must be very very intelligent! Like:

The one on the right! HAHAHAH!

4. Must be rich! Like:

5. Must be romantic arh. So can sing Lan Man Shou Ji.

And also like BrokeBack Mountain man. BREAK MY BACK HONEY! Ok. Sounds very wrong.

6. Can sing very very well! Just like!:

Wei Lian! w000h000! Seen his new girlfriend? You know the answer!

7. Can protect me from all evil! I want something like a mix of buddha + daredevil! w000h00!

.8. Last but not least. CANNOT BE STUPID!

8 lucky bastards!

1. Wai Kwan

2. Shi Ying

3. Wine!

4. Pin Chen

5. Zhen Hao

6. Melissa

7. Wen Ting

8. Sheree!

Rock on dad!

I was like playing Wei Lian's Yue Liang Dai Biao Wo De Xin when my dad came in. He told me really loved this song! I said I agree! Come on I sang this song with Hiappy! Then guess what? My dad sang this song! With his deep baritone voice! Damn cool la! Then my brother beside me started drumming on the table and I sang along with my pops. Damn cool can? Impromptu band! Somemore with your dad! Rock on dad!

This New Year like damn song. I think can say I'm celebrating my coming of age or something! Reunion dinner I drank myself silly. Da Nian Chu Yi too. The second day I watched an NC16 show. Then went home and had a can of beer again. The third day I went to Timbre to watch Dominc Wong Chern Loong perform. His band damn good k? And we drank. Surprise surprise! And played Dai Dee. Damn fun!

Then ytd I went back home and saw this topic on LUE. Said something about drawing moustache on your face. And I was game. So here's the peektures so I continue talking! Doctrine of No Picture No Talk arh.




























Like Ranjit Singh plus Jesus plus Arnold Schwazzeneger!

Hahaha! Insane.