Your typical beng!

Thursday, March 29, 2007

The truth behind the game
DOTA . . . naglalaro lang naman ako ah

The Truth about DOTA...

The truth behind the online
game DOTA
(a satanic game)
ANCIENT %u2013 question: who is
ancient?
%u2013 answer: God but satans disguises
himself and
deceives us, saying
that He is the Ancient one.

Why?
who would you think you will defend on
this game? whose defense is this? (with
those
cheats and verbal acknowledgements..
later to be
discussed)

the obvious aims:

-to kill your enemy, to destroy the
tree of
life for sentinel, to destroy the
frozen throne for
scorge, and TO BE BEYOND GODLIKE in
this
game.

the real aims:

- worshipping satan through consciously
enjoying the game.
Why?
- because this game is extremely a
deception from satan and you are
actually enjoying
it.
THE GAME
There are two bases or teams:

Sentinel vs.scorge
Good ones
monsters
Human
dark evil
Weak
strong

CHEATS:

WHO'S YOUR DADDY
- This is used to become stronger
- But actually this cheat pertains to
admittance
that your father indeed is satan.

GREED IS GOOD
- To have more money
- In Ecclesiastes 5:10-11 "Those who
love
money will never have enough,, the more
you have.. the more people come to help
you
spend it."
- It feeds your mind that it's fine to
love money
because you need it.

I SEE DEAD PEOPLE
- This allows you to see the map
- The truth behind is that, spiritually
the players
and those who are involved are dead;
they don't
have real life for they are being used
be
satan to praise him through this game.
Dead
people!
Verbal acknowledgements:

- OMG (Oh my God) The Bible states, "do
not use the name of the Lord in vain!"
- BULLs**t and HOLYs**t need not to
explain
- Good job / Good work when you killed
somebody
you are being congratulated with a good
job or good work.

TESTIMONY:

At the dawn of April 17, 2006, my
brother
(JIREH SINGSON) dreamt of 2 dreams.
First, he dreamt that Jesus is showing
how evil
dota is, then he woke up and blurted
out: "ayoko na
magdota!" he fell asleep again and had
his second
dream, he was talking with a friend who
in real life
doesn't want to play dota anymore, when
my
brother blurted out once again, "ayoko
na
magdota!", a man came near to him and
laid hands
cursing my brother. When they rebuked
it in Jesus
name, it disappeared. Then, when he
shouted "hindi na ako magdodota kahit
kailan!"
Crystal Maiden (one of those unpleasing
characters in dota) appeared in my
brother and he
told us that it felt like he couldn't
breathe, my
brother rebuked it in Jesus' name and
told to
it, "hindi na ako magpapabitag sa
iyo, I belong to Jesus!" Then he woke
up
and ran downstairs. He told everything
to us and
prayed for him. My father helped him
renounce it
and right after he surrendered he
puked, and we
brough him to hospital. But our family
claimed that
Jesus is
victorious and satan will never win. He
had a
testimony about his dream the Sunday
after he
experienced it, after he witness, those
who
are
involved in dota were prayed for.

Note: Akala ng lahat laro lang dota,
pero
si Satan
hindi nakikipaglaro. He is using dota
to
pollute
the
minds of our youth.
-faith singson

Ephesians 4:27
Don't give devil a chance! If you
ignore
this, it's
your own risk.
This is the TRUTH. Do not be blind and
do not
harden your heart.

Pls. Pass this..

You know you are there when Christians and co start calling your product satanic.

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

A Toronto man was sentenced Tuesday to three years in prison for sexually assaulting his young daughter and giving her a sexually transmitted disease.

The man, 47, who cannot be named to protect the identity of the victim, gave his daughter, 5, gonorrhea.

The incident occurred in July 2001. The man, a former labourer, was charged in 2002 and in October 2006 he was convicted of sexual assault causing bodily harm and sexual interference.

Ontario Superior Court Justice Bonnie Croll told a Toronto courtroom that the girl may suffer from infertility later in life because of the disease.

If untreated, gonorrhea can lead to pelvic inflammatory disease, which in turn can damage the fallopian tubes.

Tests in 2002 showed that the girl had developed the same strain of gonorrhea as her father.

Croll used the words "repulsive" and "despicable" in court to describe the man's conduct. The man, who uses a motorized wheelchair, is also HIV-positive.

In court, the Crown had asked for a sentence of eight to 10 years, while the defence sought a conditional sentence of less than two years.

JUSTICE BAO WOULD HAVE CASTRATED THE BASTARD

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

So they told me the cost to repair my darling phone.

600 dollars.

600 DOLLARS! WTF! I got the phone for like 260, and they tell me it's 600 bucks?! O.K la, my phone visited my washing machine and my dryer, but there's no need for 600 bucks right!

So there goes my plan to photograph Japanicus Chioues at their natural habitat.

And I visited www.mobilesquare.com.sg to scout for a new phone. And they sure know I fucked up my phone. THEY HAVE A ADVERTISEMENT FOR CONDOMS! "Hey, next time use protection when you fuck around with your phone ok!"

And my phone was christianed as Destiny. Which reminds me, I just lost my phone 2 weeks ago, and some kind soul returned it to me.

As Spirit Breakers often said, "It's destiny."

Gonna get a Destiny diamond ring from the Jeweler.

Sunday, March 25, 2007

Wah bad day.

Woke up at 7.00 a.m. in the kuku morning. For some Qing Ming Jie shit.

Ok I love my ancestors! They are cool and all, with one having a chinese polygamous marriage(Not allowed in the Strait Settlements Ordinance or some similar bullshit). But I SERIOUSLY hate the living.

Not my direct family. They are cool and all, but most of the rest should just find a plot in the Teochew cemetery.

They give me bullshit like:

"Eh ni hen cute hor."

Eh fuck. You say it in front of everyone, including your daughter, and you bash your daughter in front of me. Eh. Even if you don't love her I do ok.

And I still cannot forgive you for letting like 6 hours pass before you finally called my father when I broke my arm. I can still remember the pain. Not really nice. Doubly not nice when you were just P1 and all.

And the Ang Ku Kuehs. I swear every year they will buy the same old shit. Damn. Can you all buy tu tu kuehs or what? But it's ok.

What's not ok is that I just destroyed my phone. I put it in the dryer, and pop goes my phone! AHHHHHHHH!

Ok I still cannot get used to using periods instead of exclamation marks! Makes my sentence sound so sombre and all! BULLSHIT!

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Ahhh! Studying for family law stinks man! Especially without my studying khakis!

And I no longer believe in divine intervention! There's no beam of light, sudden burst of inspiration, no voice whispering to me when I write my bullshit! Saint Genesius of Rome, I'd like prayed for divine intervention for so many freaking times, for Criminal Procedure and Family Law, and no shit happened!

How could youuuu!

Or maybe it's the wrong saint I prayed to! Cos' I'm no catholic, so I think Genesius won't save me........

I think it's time to change deities.



O.K! Manjushri, I hope you can save me this time!

OMM MANI PEH MI HOMMMM

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

For those who don't know how bengs and lians act and dress, here's a primer for you allllll

http://members.tripod.com/~kunkun/ahbeng2.htm

The materials a bit old la. Nowadays la hor, wah lang ah beng bo tia canto techno liao la! Wa lang sibeh hip ok? Tia Arleh n Bee hor. Ai lancing ke Jouk liao, boh ke Sparks 484(No longer exist) or Rush.

Must study ok?

Ok there will be a test on bengism on Monday. Please log in to thebengnextdoor.blogspot.com on 23 March 2007 to print your seating arangement.

Sunday, March 18, 2007

Wah, lim beh uploaded jik keh sibei paikia eh gua! Le lang ai ke tia, sibei tok kong eh! Leh lang tia ka du lan ho, ka lim beh kong, lim beh immeliately leemobe da song hor.

Wah mai siao siao hor! Lim beh tian pai tia jik keh kua, tia ka eh hiao chiu hor!

Boh bian. Wah gu za bueh hiao eng nao. Boh culture.

Lim beh ledikete jik keh kua hoh wah eh pai kia hia ti Winsor! Wa lang zoh pai kia eh, ai tia hokkien kua eh!

Whoah. Theres like a mile of curly wurly lines under all the hokkien words i typed.
www.jeevansathi.com

HAHAAHAH IT'S LIKE AN INDIAN FRIENDSTER!

Thursday, March 15, 2007

Ok got back my results! Damn terok so I shall not put it up here!

But nevermind! As Mr Chng said, you can shit the system or the system can shit you!

But no matter who shat on who, the system always gets the last laugh.

But lemme laugh first!

Hahahahaha!

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

I love the holidays!

I wake up at 1.00P.M. everyday, switch on my computer and play WoW for 2 hours! Then I eat, then I play WoW again, shower, drink a can of beer, and play WoW again!

No one can kill me! I already have no life!

Yeah. And my ah gong's staying at my house! He's a pretty cool guy; he is a communist, he fought the Japanese tooth and nail, and also fought the British! I mean, he was a warrior! A spartan!

And he smokes like a chimney. He smokes 2 packs of Consulate Menthol a day! Ok, I disagree with smoking Consulate, the taste is like shit! But he puts me, Ridhwan, Halim and Shep to shame! The amount he smokes is like the amount Law smokes per day!

Hmm. But he's also the reason why I choose not to live to like 80 years old.

I mean, you have a glorious past. Then you live till 80, and you can't do nuts. Ok, my gramps can walk around, but, I think, when you're 80, the past starts to haunt you. And I don't wanna see my grandchildren ignore me. Ok, I don't ignore my gramps, but how the hell can I communicate with him?! My teochew is shit and I know nuts about him besides he's a commie! And from what I perceive, my...counterparts in my extended family don't really like him.

Which is a darn shame. He's like Leonidas and Guan Yu and Conan the babarian put together.

But I don't know how to even ask him how's his day.

I wish I can speak in Teochew.

Thursday, March 08, 2007

I'm turning into a fag!

There's like tons of guys looking at my friendster!

OH NO!
OK i just got a letter from the library saying that I never return my books!

OK la true la! The Odyssey and the Iliad is still in my house! I own up ok! Penal offence ok? 3 months imprisonment and 12 strokes of the cane for denying others from reading the books ok! Even though the last time the books were loaned out was at 1998!

Guess the classics aren't really well liked anymore!

Yes! And I have to complement myself! I was walking to bank in money just now when I walked past 7-11! And I didn't buy cigarettes! Ok la I tried to, but there wasn't any Viceroy Menthol left, so I left! Thanks to the person who bought the last pack of smokes ok!

I don't think I can last till this Saturday! But I shall try!

Ok? Sharyl I never smoke for 9 days liao! I shall make it 10!

Sunday, March 04, 2007

Ok I seriously must bitch about this fucked up incident!

I had to perform today. Cool. Flutist ok! So you know Chinese Orchestra. Standard dress code! White long sleeved shirt, black pants, black shoes. And I had to perform in this restaurant. Cool.

Then I went to the loo. When I was walking towards the loo, this ah pek came to me and asked "Eh, ji pua archar pang tolo?"

EH!!!!! I AM NOT A WAITER! I AM A DISCIPLE OF APOLLO AND MUSE! I AM THE LEGENDARY JIE JUN! THE BOY WHO ONCE CHARMED THE EVIL NAZI ARMY WITH HIS PROWESS WITH THE DIZI! I AM THE GENIUS WHO AMAZED THE PUGILISTIC WORLD WITH MY HAUNTING MELODIES!

And that ah pek called me a WAITER! OH MY GOD!

And what's more, I took the mrt home right! There was this aunty who did the I wanna seduce you stance on me! You know the stance right! One hand on the wall, then face you! Make you feel trapped and stuff! THAT STANCE! ON ME! I WAS LIKE HUGGING THE WALL AND THERE WAS THIS TWO GIRLS WHO WERE SNIGGERING AT ME! AHHHHHH!

Where is the justice man!