"God is dead for the prisoner in death row, God is dead for the child dying in the sickbed, and God is dead for me, when I contracted polio."
And guess what kiddos? God is dead for me too. HE TOOK AWAY STEVE IRWIN! OF ALL THE DAMN PEOPLE IN THE WORLD, LIKE GEORGIE BUSH OR WHO, THEY TOOK AWAY STEVE IRWIN! LOOK AT HIM! HE IS THE EPITOME OF MANLINESS!
He is so damn cool! He makes women swoon with his Aussie accent! He makes young boys like me wish that they can travel across the seven seas, finding porpoises and dolphins and manticores to slay and tame and oogle at! AND NOW GOD TOOK HIM AWAY! And to add salt to the injury he is killed by:
This! A bloody stingray! I swear I will avenge you Mr Irwin. I swear I will go to Newton Food Center and eat the damn stingray. I swear I will bite into the flesh with relish, and taste the flesh of the scums that killed my hero.
Do not fear my dear friends, for with me is the one thing that shall make the stingray tremble in their stings. It is none other then:
The fearsome Tiger. Feared in the jungles of Malaya and the deep mountains of China, the almighty tiger shall accompany me in the quest to slay the stingray.
May Irwin's spirit be calmed by this vow of revenge.